first off the
alcohol you can find in a big drugstore. make sure you get 99%.
next, the visitor. I've read quite a few times that shifting your time is not a problem if you shift in increments. the main point is that you don't want to give it more light or else she'll start vegging. I think the time shift shouldn't be a problem especially if you do it INCREMENTALLY. 30 mins to an hour a day seems reasonable.
some quick ideas:
Put another dresser or something big in front of the closet.
put some carpet or rubber or something under the wheels of the growbox to minimize vibrations.
Put a dehumidifier or something similar in the room to mask the noise (say its for the cat?)
egg cartons!
definitely ride without the CFLs for a few days. turn the fans that you can off. also i think having good airflow behind the fan changes how fast it spins. if you put a wall behind the fan it might be quieter...or louder. just a though.
Put a dead fish in your room so it stinks and nobody will want to hang out in there - say the cat brought in a dead bird last week and you only just found it.
Cut lights on to 10 hours.
Get some more cfls and lose the cool tube?
Put your desktop computer in your room (if you have one), take the side off so the fan is exposed and change your BIOS so that the fan runs at maximum velocity. Say you are downloading the every episode of the sopranos and you need your computer on. (another masking technique)
get an old dimmer switch for your bedroom light and leave it at 50% (cats preference) that should create an annoying buzz.
get a silent (ball bearing) computer fan from your local computer store.
get caught and invite your relative into your inner sanctum and master plan of becoming a weed baron and taking over the world with them as your left hand man.
also you can get pretty hot without damaging your plants - they'll just slow the growth.