A few weeks after a couple moved into a new house the husband came home from work and his wife said, "Honey in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?"
The husband said, "Who do I look like, Mr. Plumber?"
A week went by. The husband came home from work and his wife said, "Honey, my car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"
"Who do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" he snarled.
Another few weeks went by. One Sunday it started raining really hard. The wife noticed a leak from the roof dripping into the kitchen. She went into the living room where her husband was watching football and said, "Honey, there's a leak in the roof! Can you please fix it?"
"Who do I look like, Bob Vila?" the husband replied. Adding insult to injury, he took a swig of beer and belched.
The next night when the husband came home from work, the roof was fixed.
So was the plumbing.
So was the car.
“Don’t tell me YOU fixed all this,’ he said to his wife.
.Oh, no,’ she said. “I had a handyman come in and take care of everything" she said.
"Oh great! How much is that going to cost me?” whined the husband.
“Not a thing,” replied his wife. “He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him.
“So what kind of cake did you make him?” asked the husband.
She smiled and said,
“Do I look like Betty Crocker?”