How do you deal with depression and loss?

[Cookie Rider]

So I re read all these posts today...I read them in July as life was happening and I felt like I was losing my wife and my marriage was over..fast forward to October 16 after a very long summer of arguments and struggling she od'd on fent and is now been gone 6 weeks...it was devastating at the time but has been getting better over time. Losing her was gonna hurt I knew that. I wasn't expecting it but here I am,still here and still kicking.. sometimes all you can do is dig in and hold on..all things must pass

you are a strong person, so sorry to hear of your loss.
Heartbreaking.

 

[Kerowacked]

Pornhub

 

[big bud man 413]

Blonde pussy works for me.

 

[Beesbuds]

Blonde pussy works for me.

Exactly what I did. I got a sexy blonde Polish girl. Fuck her all the time she's a sex maniac

 

[odessa]

I ate a few oz of cubensis over the course of a few months. Then, Kriya Yoga for maintenance.

Edit to be responsible and the info might actually help someone. I didn't just trip my balls off and hope for the best. I entered into it with extreme intention and purpose mixed with some scientific evidence, faith, imagination, and courage in order to attempt to help my decades-long, medicine-resistant clinical depression. On top of that, I had been practicing meditation and breathing for a few years before trying this. So this is what I did and my reasoning. I sourced my own cubes with love and care Based on Japanese and Paul Stametes' research into how Lion's Mane correlates with neurogenesis and the fact that psilocybin suspends Neurochem in the brain for an extended period, I supposed that taking them together over a period of time might patch my brain. Maybe it worked. Maybe it was a placebo. (Maybe it was Maybelline) but it did help. I'm not going to sit here and act like I achieved enlightenment or walk around in perpetual bliss, but I have had mostly good to very good days going on two years and I feel no need to take the cubes again at this point in time.

 

[buckaclark]

I ate a few oz of cubensis over the course of a few months. Then, Kriya Yoga for maintenance.

Edit to be responsible and the info might actually help someone. I didn't just trip my balls off and hope for the best. I entered into it with extreme intention and purpose mixed with some scientific evidence, faith, imagination, and courage in order to attempt to help my decades-long, medicine-resistant clinical depression. On top of that, I had been practicing meditation and breathing for a few years before trying this. So this is what I did and my reasoning. I sourced my own cubes with love and care Based on Japanese and Paul Stametes' research into how Lion's Mane correlates with neurogenesis and the fact that psilocybin suspends Neurochem in the brain for an extended period, I supposed that taking them together over a period of time might patch my brain. Maybe it worked. Maybe it was a placebo. (Maybe it was Maybelline) but it did help. I'm not going to sit here and act like I achieved enlightenment or walk around in perpetual bliss, but I have had mostly good to very good days going on two years and I feel no need to take the cubes again at this point in time.

Haa haa ,Choad!

 

[StonedGardener]

you are a strong person, so sorry to hear of your loss.
Heartbreaking.

An old post , l know...still.....I'm so sorry ! True empathy here , been going through this for years . So sorry about the insensitive responses ( that's so fucking heartless ) . Hey , those Dark Winds blow on everyone , their turns coming , I hope they find it humorous! Hold Tight stoner dude ! In my case , I don't think , I know this won't blow by.

 

[Cookie Rider]

Fentanyl just keeps touching down and removing people;
from maybe not my life but the lives of people around me.
Christmas Eve, after the adults hadgone to bed. The 19-20 year olds chilling, drinking a bit in excess.
Another showed up later w dirty drugs-
One dead,
Two in critical condition hospitalized,
And the one who drank in excess and passed out earlier awoke to this Christmas Day.

the grief on that family’s faces I’ll never forget

there’s not much you can do or say; just be there.

I once bought a suit when I was looking for my first job,
Another when I got married,
And now a third for funerals of fentanyl deaths.

Really shitty times as far as that’s concerned.

 

[StonedGardener]

Fentanyl just keeps touching down and removing people;
from maybe not my life but the lives of people around me.
Christmas Eve, after the adults hadgone to bed. The 19-20 year olds chilling, drinking a bit in excess.
Another showed up later w dirty drugs-
One dead,
Two in critical condition hospitalized,
And the one who drank in excess and passed out earlier awoke to this Christmas Day.

the grief on that family’s faces I’ll never forget

there’s not much you can do or say; just be there.

I once bought a suit when I was looking for my first job,
Another when I got married,
And now a third for funerals of fentanyl deaths.

Really shitty times as far as that’s concerned.

I'm afraid this earthly plane can be like a gauntlet ! Don't fall down or your fucked.
Ya really need a set of brass balls, but even mine are wearing out . Time to get so f'd up that I don't know where I am. It's like a dome that hovers over your body , but
you're usually inside ........what fucked-up entity created this shit carnival ?

 

[Er3]

Fentanyl just keeps touching down and removing people;
from maybe not my life but the lives of people around me.
Christmas Eve, after the adults hadgone to bed. The 19-20 year olds chilling, drinking a bit in excess.
Another showed up later w dirty drugs-
One dead,
Two in critical condition hospitalized,
And the one who drank in excess and passed out earlier awoke to this Christmas Day.

the grief on that family’s faces I’ll never forget

there’s not much you can do or say; just be there.

I once bought a suit when I was looking for my first job,
Another when I got married,
And now a third for funerals of fentanyl deaths.

Really shitty times as far as that’s concerned.

I just lost my wife in October to a fentanyl od..people dying everyday here its ridiculous. I'm in Appalachia ground zero for the opioid crisis..pills were everywhere 20 years ago now the pills are gone and heroin took the place of the pills. Now it's all fentanyl..very sad. I'll never be the same personally as she had just turned 49 the day before. We now have super drugs in America. Let's not forget meth. I miss the old days of Columbian gold and Panama red..Lebanese hash..

 

[Er3]

Fentanyl just keeps touching down and removing people;
from maybe not my life but the lives of people around me.
Christmas Eve, after the adults hadgone to bed. The 19-20 year olds chilling, drinking a bit in excess.
Another showed up later w dirty drugs-
One dead,
Two in critical condition hospitalized,
And the one who drank in excess and passed out earlier awoke to this Christmas Day.

the grief on that family’s faces I’ll never forget

there’s not much you can do or say; just be there.

I once bought a suit when I was looking for my first job,
Another when I got married,
And now a third for funerals of fentanyl deaths.

Really shitty times as far as that’s concerned.

Here's the harsh reality..I had no idea she had done all that,the meth was a real shocker. We had separated for a month and I cleaned up. Very sad I'm still struggling with this. Thinking hard about psilocybin to help me snap out of this depression.

 

[StonedGardener]

Here's the harsh reality..I had no idea she had done all that,the meth was a real shocker. We had separated for a month and I cleaned up. Very sad I'm still struggling with this. Thinking hard about psilocybin to help me snap out of this

 

[Cookie Rider]

Hang in there.
Take time to remember all the good times you did have.

Really sorry your going through this.
You are not alone.

 

[Greengrouch]

I just try and keep myself distracted mostly, you’d think by now I’d be used to loss, but nope house burned down Xmas eve, still crying pretty regularly about my cats, don’t even know if they made it out but time moves forward and the pain will dull eventually. It never completely goes away, I’ve lost enough people to know that by now but it does get easier with time

 

[Er3]

Hang in there.
Take time to remember all the good times you did have.

Really sorry your going through this.
You are not alone.

Thank you I needed that. Yesterday I was reading one of her journals and found another set of good bye-suicide letters to her children,me ,1 to her family and 3 pages to me..I'm getting better but it's very hard still. I'm disabled for my ptsd panic anxiety disorder already. Thanks for caring for a stranger I absolutely needed that today.

 

[PadawanWarrior]

Thank you I needed that. Yesterday I was reading one of her journals and found another set of good bye-suicide letters to her children,me ,1 to her family and 3 pages to me..I'm getting better but it's very hard still. I'm disabled for my ptsd panic anxiety disorder already. Thanks for caring for a stranger I absolutely needed that today.

That really sucks man. I'm truly sorry for your loss. I couldn't imagine.

 

[Cookie Rider]

Really seems a lot more people are experiencing tragedy, grief, and depression.
Helping each other seems like the right thing to do.

I think you should start writing this all down. Like a journal.
It may help you process all the traumatic events in your life.

Grief seems like constant work.
Give yourself a mental break from it somehow. A walk, I fly kites, whatever works for you to forget and be calm.

It will get better.
Hang in there.

 

[bd6187]

When it's overwhelming. Blank out your mind. Think of nothing

 

[OldMedUser]

Thank you I needed that. Yesterday I was reading one of her journals and found another set of good bye-suicide letters to her children,me ,1 to her family and 3 pages to me..I'm getting better but it's very hard still. I'm disabled for my ptsd panic anxiety disorder already. Thanks for caring for a stranger I absolutely needed that today.

You mentioned before about trying 'shrooms. That's what I did starting 2 years ago last Dec. We used to pick them wild around Vancouver, BC back in the day for fun and did a lot of 'cid back then too but haven't done that stuff for years. I was near killed in a hammer attack in my early 20s and since then had suffered pretty disabling chronic depression. Tried all sorts of anti-depressants when it was getting to be too much but that was never a cure just a band-aid fix for a crisis,

Stopped pharma meds about 20 years ago and relied on pot to take the edge off always growing new strains to find 'the one'. I was also self-medicating with booze and believe me booze only makes it a lot worse. Saw a therapist here for almost two years and that was some help to learn techniques to take my focus off dark thoughts and help break the cycle. Ran into my therapist on the street in the small town where his office was months after stopping therapy and he'd quit as he was burning out dealing with everybody's grief.

Anyway I had been checking out r/microdosing on Reddit and got info on reputable 'shroom sellers and ordered an oz of Penis Envy for $99 Black Friday sale. A day later got a DM from another seller offering a sample pack for the $20 shipping fee so went for it. Got a big 3g chocolate bar, 10 pack of 300mg caps which are 6x the dose I've been using and just one cap gets me pretty high but you don't want that with microdosing. Also three or four 3.5g packs of different 'shrooms one of which was more PE. I only ordered PE as it is considered a lot stronger than others so you need less to get the same dose and the oz lasts longer.

I was going to eat the whole bar on New Years Eve that year but only took about 1/3 and glad I did. No major visuals but some colours and for a while a touch of paranoia but that passed and didn't freak me out.

After that I just MD'ed more or less randomly. Ground up some in a coffee grinder and just took 50mg with my morning coffee. 100 - 300mg is generally recommended for MD'ing but even 100 makes me shaky and doesn't fell all that good so I halfed that and just feel like i've had a bit too much coffee and that's a feeling I get all the time from too much coffee so no problem. I was still drinking too much on occasion and would feel like crap for over a week each time. Around the end of May '21 I had done a 4 day run of 'shrooms then a couple days later made my usual Friday run to town for water and supplies fully intending to get a bottle of Everclear and go on a 3 day bender. Did my shopping in the plaza where the vendors are and drove right past on my way home. Haven't touched a drop since and will be 2 years sober this May with no cravings at all. 'Shrooms literally saved my life as far as I'm concerned.

I went and got some Lion's mane powdered 'shrooms and some Vit B3 a while ago and made up a 60 batch of '00' caps. Was supposed to be 50 but had enough left over to make 10 more so the doses are a bit smaller than planned. If 50 they would be 50mg PE. 100mg B3 and 500mg Lion's Mane. I haven't really felt the need for any in quite a while so they wait in the fridge until I want them but I'm planning on doing a run soon.

Researchers have found that a compound in Lion's Mane grows neurons in the brain and can help prevent or reverse dementia like Alzheimers. I also found out they grow wild around here so I need to talk to a lady friend who is into wild 'shrooms about where to find them and I might just grow my own too so I can eat lots of those. My birth mother died of demetia at 75 and was diagnosed at 65. I'm 68 now and do not want to go out like that!

I feel great mentally almost all the time now. I also have diverticulitis and after a few days of my belly blowing up I can feel pretty depressed but it lifts once the plumbing starts working right again. Seeing a GI specialist early March so hoping it can be fixed but looks like I'll need surgery to get rid of it for good.

I'd say go for the microdosing but save getting really high until you get your head in a better place. Bum trips are a bummer.

 

[Er3]

Thanks for keeping this open, losing my wife to suicide/overdose has changed me forever. I'll never be the same and I'm afraid I haven't actually recovered or put this behind me. Everyday I'd still a struggle for me. It's at least nice to know I'm not alone in this fight.