Happy thread :)

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Don't Bogart

Don't Bogart

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Thought I'd throw in some more humor. This has been around for many moons but some of you might get a kick out of it.

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term:

"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities.

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year that "It will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic.
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The student got the only A.
 
Don't Bogart

Don't Bogart

Well-Known Member
One more.

The Space Shuttle and the Horse's Rear End


Say friend, did you know that the US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8 1/2 inches.

That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?

Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.

I see, but why did the English build them like that?

Because the first railway lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Well, why did they use that gauge in England?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Okay! Why did their wagons use that odd wheel spacing?

Because, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads. Because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts.

So who built these old rutted roads?

The first long distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The Roman roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts?

The original ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons, were first made by the wheels of Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made for or by Imperial Rome they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Thus, we have the answer to the original question. The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8 1/2 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman army war chariot.

And the motto of the story is Specifications and bureaucracies live forever.

So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right. Because the Imperial Roman chariots were made to be just wide enough to accommodate the back-ends of two war-horses.

So, just what does this have to do with the exploration of space?

Well, there's an interesting extension of the story about railroad gauge and horses' behinds. When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on the launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are the solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at a factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.

The railroad from the factory runs through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than a railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So a major design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was originally determined by the width of a horse's ass.
 
hanimmal

hanimmal

Well-Known Member
Don't Bogart said:
One more.

The Space Shuttle and the Horse's Rear End


Say friend, did you know that the US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8 1/2 inches.

That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?

Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.

I see, but why did the English build them like that?

Because the first railway lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Well, why did they use that gauge in England?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Okay! Why did their wagons use that odd wheel spacing?

Because, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads. Because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts.

So who built these old rutted roads?

The first long distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The Roman roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts?

The original ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons, were first made by the wheels of Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made for or by Imperial Rome they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Thus, we have the answer to the original question. The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8 1/2 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman army war chariot.

And the motto of the story is Specifications and bureaucracies live forever.

So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right. Because the Imperial Roman chariots were made to be just wide enough to accommodate the back-ends of two war-horses.

So, just what does this have to do with the exploration of space?

Well, there's an interesting extension of the story about railroad gauge and horses' behinds. When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on the launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are the solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at a factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.

The railroad from the factory runs through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than a railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So a major design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was originally determined by the width of a horse's ass.
Click to expand...


Thank you for the last couple posts. Awesome.
 
TacoMac

TacoMac

Well-Known Member
Speaking of Space Shuttle,

when they were in the design stage they had a full size mockup of it made of wood in a hangar at the Cape. They called it 'The Messiah'. Reason being every time someone walked in and saw it for the first time as they scanned upwards gazing in awe, they would say, "Jeeesus Chriiiist".
 
DIY-HP-LED

DIY-HP-LED

Well-Known Member
Acosta awards Carlson 'BS factory employee of the month' distinction

CNN's Jim Acosta slams Republicans and members of the right-wing media who continue to embrace a false conspiracy theory that claims the FBI orchestrated the Capitol insurrection.
 
Don't Bogart

Don't Bogart

Well-Known Member
Fogdog said:
Melania isn’t changing any of her ways in her life outside of the White House. She will be a summer commuter “going back and forth from New York and New Jersey to Florida,” according to the source, and she will see her husband when their schedules and interests link up. (translation: when hell freezes over)
Click to expand...
I'm sure there is a pre-nup but what's her take when this facist-wana-be succumbs to what most people desire. Jail then death.
 
DIY-HP-LED

DIY-HP-LED

Well-Known Member
More than 41,000 people have signed petitions to stop Jeff Bezos from returning to Earth after his trip to space next month (yahoo.com)

More than 41,000 people have signed petitions to stop Jeff Bezos from returning to Earth after his trip to space next month

  • Petitions to stop Jeff Bezos' Earth re-entry collected more than 41,000 signatures between them.
  • The one with the most signatures is entitled: "Do not allow Jeff Bezos to return to Earth."
  • Bezos will fly into space on July 20 for Blue Origin's first human flight of New Shepard rocket.
More than 41,000 people have signed petitions calling to stop Jeff Bezos from returning to Earth after he blasts into space next month.

Bezos, founder of space-exploration firm Blue Origin, said on June 7 that he and his brother Mark Bezos will fly into space aboard the New Shepard rocket on July 20 - the company's first human flight.

Three days after Bezos' announcement, two petitions were launched to try and prevent the billionaire's re-entry to Earth. They have both garnered thousands of followers in just 10 days.

More than 23,000 people have signed one Change.org petition titled: "Do not allow Jeff Bezos to return to Earth."

"Billionaire's should not exist...on earth, or in space, but should they decide the latter they should stay there," the petition's description said.

Some signatories gave a reason for signing the petition, which included comments such as "being let back into Earth is a privilege - not a right," and "Earth don't want people like Jeff, Bill [Gates], Elon [Musk] and other such billionaires."

Another petition, called "Petition To Not Allow Jeff Bezos Re-Entry To Earth," has accumulated more than 18,000 signatures and is quickly gaining traction.

Jose Ortiz, who set up the petition, said in the description that Bezos is "an evil overlord hellbent on global domination."

"The fate of humanity is in your hands," Ortiz also wrote.

Both petitions are aiming to get 25,000 signatures, making them two of the top signed petitions on Change.org, according to the website.

Bezos will take an 11-minute flight to the edge of space alongside his brother and the winner of the Blue Origin auction for a seat in the New Shepard spacecraft, which sold for $28 million. They'll be strapped into a dome-shaped capsule, which sits on top of the rocket booster.
 
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