Two sentence joke

[Mamijuana_Sparklz]

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one live one at the bottom eating its way out. Ole dead baby jokes...

*checks on own kids*
...................
*clears throat before unleashing her best asian accent*
SERRR?!?! , DIH YEW JUS.....
DA BAYBEE?!?!? EAT A DA NUDDA BAYBEEZ?!
HOHOOOOOOOHHH NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Baybees deh yoke no gooo!!
Trow yoke away!
May new yoke bow many manyy time asian prolly macon yew sesame kitten

 

[Mamijuana_Sparklz]

Sorry I'm

 

[go go kid]

first off apollogies for it not being a two liner, but its a good joke.
Plane with 5 passengers on board, Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Angela Merkel, The Pope and a ten year old school boy. The plane is about to crash and there are only 4 parachutes.
Plane with 5 passengers on board, Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Angela Merkel, The Pope and a ten year old school boy. The plane is about to crash and there are only 4 parachutes.

Trump said I need one. I’m the smartest man in the USA and am needed to sort out the problems of the World!’, takes one and jumps.

Boris said ‘I’m needed to sort out Britain’. He takes one and jumps.

The Pope said ‘I need one as the world needs the Catholic Church.’ He takes one and jumps.

Angela said to the ten year old: "You can have the last parachute. I've lived my life, yours is only just starting."

The 10 year old replied: "Don’t worry, there are 2 parachutes left, the smartest man in the USA took my school bag."

 

[Mamijuana_Sparklz]

LOL dayyyyyyng
XD

 

[Jeffislovinlife]

first off apollogies for it not being a two liner, but its a good joke.
Plane with 5 passengers on board, Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Angela Merkel, The Pope and a ten year old school boy. The plane is about to crash and there are only 4 parachutes.
Plane with 5 passengers on board, Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Angela Merkel, The Pope and a ten year old school boy. The plane is about to crash and there are only 4 parachutes.

Trump said I need one. I’m the smartest man in the USA and am needed to sort out the problems of the World!’, takes one and jumps.

Boris said ‘I’m needed to sort out Britain’. He takes one and jumps.

The Pope said ‘I need one as the world needs the Catholic Church.’ He takes one and jumps.

Angela said to the ten year old: "You can have the last parachute. I've lived my life, yours is only just starting."

The 10 year old replied: "Don’t worry, there are 2 parachutes left, the smartest man in the USA took my school bag."

Hopefully the 10-year old boy grabs the other three parachutes as he jumps out the door

 

[Hollatchaboy]

What do women and floor tiles have in common?

If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for the rest of their life.

 

[Romulanman]

What do women and floor tiles have in common?

If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for the rest of their life.

That's subzero bruh lol

 

[Hollatchaboy]

That's subzero bruh lol

Damn. Sorry sub zero

 

[Romulanman]

Damn. Sorry sub zero

LOL no I meant like thats cold man. Subzero temps

 

[Hollatchaboy]

LOL no I meant like thats cold man. Subzero temps

Oh shit... lol

 

[bam0813]

8 out of 10 women are battered
And I'm still eating mine plain

 

[Hollatchaboy]

Back in my day......
Blowing a tranny meant car problems

 

[bam0813]

 

[Billytheluther]

What do women and floor tiles have in common?

If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for the rest of their life.

What does a fatt white girl and a roofing tile have in common?
They’re both getting nailed by a mexican

 

[Billytheluther]

Not a two liner but here goes

A man walks across the desert and stumbles upon a genie lamp

He rubs the lamp and gets one wish only

The man ask for a dick long enough to drag on ground

The genie cuts his legs off

 

[Billytheluther]

So Jesus decided to euthanize a zoo

First came an elephant complaining about his big ears
“Jesus why did you make me with this big ol ears and long truck”
Jesus said “ i aint stupid i gave you them ears so you could hear your predators from a long distance and that truck so you could bath your self..

A giraffe asks jesus why he made me freckled and long necked and said it was camouflage and to eat fruits before ripening

A chicken comes out and tells jesus
Fuck you you give me a bigger ass hole or smaller eggs

 

[bam0813]

How do you circumcise a whale?
4 skin divers

 

[bam0813]

What's the difference between the freezer and your gay friend ? The freezer doesn't fart when you take the meat out

 

[GreenestBasterd]

She told me to give her 12 inches and make her bleed.

So I fucked her twice and punched her in the nose.

 

[Puff_Dragon]

Q. How much does Santa pay to park his sled?

A. Nothing, its on the house!


Q. What is the correct medical term for Viagra?

A. Mycocksaflopin


Q. What section, in a library, are books on lubrication found?

A. In Non-Friction!


Q. What do you call a man who walks into a bar?

A. a LUCKY bastard! Because, everywhere is shut!


Nine months seems like no time, to a man.
But for a women, it can feel like a maternity!