My "landlords" are drug testing me...

jerryb73

jerryb73

Well-Known Member
cannabineer said:
Even so ... parents' house, parents' rules.
If [person] seeks other rules, seek other location.
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I’m going through this right now. My adult son, 27. Just got out of jail with nowhere to go so I tried to help, AGAIN. I have very simple rules, that he knew upfront and agreed to. Let him use a vehicle that we are not using so he could find work and commute. 1 condition, to work and back, period. Don’t like it? Walk. Don’t come straight home, you’re out. Don’t like what I’m saying, leave. I give zero shits about how old he is, if you cannot take care of yourself then your age has nothing to do with being an adult. He left for work Thursday morning and has never called or returned. Happy birthday dad...


Let me add. He has struggled with opioid addiction and had done 2 ,11 month stents already.
 
Chris Edward

Chris Edward

Well-Known Member
Bareback said:
Sort of, but not really. I could visit my mom when ever I wanted to. Just a 2-3 hour drive from home. It was a real adventure, doing construction, sleeping on roof tops in suburban ATLANTA or on the hood of my car or wherever I wanted to.... except in a nice warm bed.
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@Bareback
Sounds like you made the best of it.

Hopefully now you have a place that is more secure and that warm bed...
 
Chris Edward

Chris Edward

Well-Known Member
jerryb73 said:
I’m going through this right now. My adult son, 27. Just got out of jail with nowhere to go so I tried to help, AGAIN. I have very simple rules, that he knew upfront and agreed to. Let him use a vehicle that we are not using so he could find work and commute. 1 condition, to work and back, period. Don’t like it? Walk. Don’t come straight home, you’re out. Don’t like what I’m saying, leave. I give zero shits about how old he is, if you cannot take care of yourself then your age has nothing to do with being an adult. He left for work Thursday morning and has never called or returned. Happy birthday dad...


Let me add. He has struggled with opioid addiction and had done 2 ,11 month stents already.
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@jerryb73
Sounds like you are being a good dad.

I am sorry your son doesn't realize the opportunity you have given him.
 
Bareback

Bareback

Well-Known Member
BarnBuster said:
Sure makes you appreciate a hot meal, hot shower and warm dry bed even years later, doesn't it ;)
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It sure does, and to be honest I have anxiety issues if my wife starts talking about selling our home and moving to town. We have seven acres and I built this house from the drawing board to completion ( if there is should a thing ) all by myself every block, board, shingle, wire, pipe everything except the HAVC. It's mortage free and I appreciate it like not people can understand. I never had a stable home growing up and to lose this place would kill me ......
 
cannabineer

cannabineer

Ursus marijanus
Chris Edward said:
I am totally down with "house rules" like no smoking in the house or within so many feet of the house, etc., but what this adult does with their own time is their business.

People rebel when you put pressure on them.
The best thing his parents can do is stand a bit back, put down some basic ground rules and wait for when he falls, if he falls.
If he doesn't learn from his mistakes, he is never going to learn.

If he succeeds, then so be it...

If people don't try, then they become curmudgeons at a young age and that is a terrible place to be.
There is plenty of time in this kids future for him to lose hope in humanity, society, the world, but right now he's 19, invincible, and full of hope. Let him try some things out and get an idea of how things work before he's chained to a cubicle for the rest of his life.

We're so focused on protecting people, that we forget, sometimes you have to fall in order to learn some of life's lessons.
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Do you always agree so disagreeably?
 
curious2garden

curious2garden

Well-Known Mod
Staff member
Chris Edward said:
I am totally down with "house rules" like no smoking in the house or within so many feet of the house, etc., but what this adult does with their own time is their business.......snip........
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Do adults live in mommy and daddy's home? If he can't live by the house rules or when he actually has a landlord, their rules then he needs to find a place he can honorably stay without deceit.
 
Chris Edward

Chris Edward

Well-Known Member
cannabineer said:
Do you always agree so disagreeably?
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@cannabineer
Let's agree to disagree, like adults, lol...
We could argue the details all day long but who's details are we arguing?
@2blunts2cheef?
Or details from our own lives?

Has 2blunts2cheef even made a comment past the first page of this thread?
We have so little information and yet here we are four days later still talking about his life, like it matters to us.

I am done with this thread, I have wasted enough time talking about it.
I seem to be going through this "everyone is taking what I say incorrectly" phase, so I think it's best I stop now...
 
Gary Goodson

Gary Goodson

Well-Known Member
Chris Edward said:
@cannabineer
Let's agree to disagree, like adults, lol...
We could argue the details all day long but who's details are we arguing?
@2blunts2cheef?
Or details from our own lives?

Has 2blunts2cheef even made a comment past the first page of this thread?
We have so little information and yet here we are four days later still talking about his life, like it matters to us.

I am done with this thread, I have wasted enough time talking about it.
I seem to be going through this "everyone is taking what I say incorrectly" phase, so I think it's best I stop now...
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Who the fuck are you anyway? Honestly I don’t know or care who you are. And at this point I don’t even care how many dix you can fit in your mouth. So don’t even try telling us. Because I’ll ignore the answer and just keep on trucking like If you never told us in the first place.
 
O

old buzzard

Well-Known Member
before commenting,especially legal action.I think the parents version of the story should be heard.could be quite a bit different.mommy's little boy may not be completely truthful of whats going on.I say leave home now while you still know everything.
 
Chris Edward

Chris Edward

Well-Known Member
Gary Goodson said:
Who the fuck are you anyway? Honestly I don’t know or care who you are. And at this point I don’t even care how many dix you can fit in your mouth. So don’t even try telling us. Because I’ll ignore the answer and just keep on trucking like If you never told us in the first place.
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@Gary Goodson
Wow, what's with the hate?

I never claimed to be anybody.
I posted a comment, people took it the wrong way (I never said he should sue), I defended myself, the whole situation got blown out of proportion.
I was wrong.
I tried to be diplomatic about it.

The whole situation is stupid and not worth bitching about.

Or we can be petty and fight with each other.
Cause that always ends nicely!
 
WeedFreak78

WeedFreak78

Well-Known Member
So I get living under "house rules" as a minor or if you aren't paying to live there. But once you reach an age of legality and are being required to pay rent, even if living with parents, you should be afford more leeway with your freedom, especially in your choices outside the house. I get not wanting drugs in your home, but it had nothing to do with the house /property. An unannounced and immediate change to "house rules", at any point by the "landlords", that dramatically effects your way of life, would be considered unreasonable by just about anybody. If parents want their kids to survive, they need to loosen the leash, especially by 19.

Once I was 16 and working, my parents set rent and went over the new rules. At 19, same thing, I was out of school, working full time, so rent went up, but I got more freedom. 21, I could come and go as I pleased without question. I never had strict rules, we had mutual respect and trust of each other, which went much further then strict discipline. My parents didn't mind me smoking and drinking, even as a teen, but I know they didn't particularly like it, so I kept it out of our home out of respect.

Sound like OP and parents don't respect and /or trust each other completely. There's probably slight anxiety of an empty nest by the parents, so they're trying to grasp onto what little control they still have. If the parents still view their child as that, a child, there's no hope of sitting down as adults and coming to a reasonable middle ground.

I would like to hear the other side..
 
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neosapien

neosapien

Well-Known Member
My parents were really cool growing up. I actually can't relate to any of this at all.

I moved out at 20 so I could bang chicks as loud as I want without getting embarrassed. Then moved back in with my folks at 22 to save for a house. And then bought my house the next year and moved out.
 
cannabineer

cannabineer

Ursus marijanus
Chris Edward said:
@cannabineer
Let's agree to disagree, like adults, lol...
We could argue the details all day long but who's details are we arguing?
@2blunts2cheef?
Or details from our own lives?

Has 2blunts2cheef even made a comment past the first page of this thread?
We have so little information and yet here we are four days later still talking about his life, like it matters to us.

I am done with this thread, I have wasted enough time talking about it.
I seem to be going through this "everyone is taking what I say incorrectly" phase, so I think it's best I stop now...
Click to expand...
Adults do not argue with or like straw men. Your "responses" are to things I did not say, insinuating that they're my arguments. I tire of your asking when I stopped beating my wife.
 
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