What did you accomplish today?

WeedFreak78

Well-Known Member
If it helps at all WeedFreak78 please don't drink.

Call the county social workers and explain what's going on. See if they can get her put on an involuntary psychiatric hold. She is mentally gravely disabled. The police can't do this, county health and welfare can. Support her friend in putting her on the street. Do not take her in. As long as people enable this type of mental illness the ones with the mental illness keep destroying the loved ones around them until they are limited or abandoned.

It may take a stint on the street for them to lock her up and provide her with a conservator, hopefully you.
I got social services involved last time. They won't do anything, they said she's competent enough and you can't stop someone from giving away everything they own, even if it makes them destitute.

IDK if I can turn her away. I live in her house, but she uses the address for some stuff. There's no contracts, just a verbal agreement, so she could claim residency. I'll be out, cause I can't live with her. I've just got so much time and money invested here between my grow, my garden and my garage, the thought of having to walk away from it all is wrenching my gut.

I've been through the gamut with this, twice now. My only option is to wait it out and roll with whatever comes. I told her point blank last time i would disown her if she lied to me like that again, I dont think she believed me. I just can't do it anymore, I'm sick of always struggling and just waiting to get hit with the next bomb. I think im gonna puke.
 

curious2garden

Well-Known Mod
Staff member
I got social services involved last time. They won't do anything, they said she's competent enough and you can't stop someone from giving away everything they own, even if it makes them destitute.

IDK if I can turn her away. I live in her house, but she uses the address for some stuff. There's no contracts, just a verbal agreement, so she could claim residency. I'll be out, cause I can't live with her. I've just got so much time and money invested here between my grow, my garden and my garage, the thought of having to walk away from it all is wrenching my gut.

I've been through the gamut with this, twice now. My only option is to wait it out and roll with whatever comes. I told her point blank last time i would disown her if she lied to me like that again, I dont think she believed me. I just can't do it anymore, I'm sick of always struggling and just waiting to get hit with the next bomb. I think im gonna puke.
I had hoped they were a little more protective there. I'm so sorry. Sounds like time for you to find a new future. If you want to talk hit me up in PM :hug::hug:
 

Bareback

Well-Known Member
I got a call last night from my mother's best friend, who she lives with. Apparently she's involved with some fucking online scam artist again, 4th time, and sending them money, again. She thinks it might even be the same guy from a few months ago. My mother swore to me it wouldn't happen again. I trusted her, for the last time now. After the last incident i tried everything I could to get her help, even going to the police, which is a last resort option for me in ANY scenario. I'm now positive we're going to lose the house. She's already under a payment agreement with the mortgage company. She won't give me any of the account info so I can pay on it. I tried calling to make a payment and i can't without account info. She stopped paying it for months at the end of last year into the spring of this year to send money to some guy in Africa. Her friend told me she owes her months of rent, and she's now demanded payment and gave her a 60 day notice. I've been fixing up my father's old truck to repace her shitty car, at my expense, and she fucks me again. There's absolutely nothing I can do to stop her. I'm done. I'm so fucking devastated right now. I haven't slept, I can't keep food down, I haven't stopped shaking. I haven't drank in over 2 months and the bottle of vodka I'm looking at is really inviting. Sure I might shit blood tomorrow, I doubt think it really fucking matters anymore....
Damn man I'm sorry to hear your dealing with this again...

PM me any time....
 

curious2garden

Well-Known Mod
Staff member
Hows everyone doing? Been MIA for awhile and wanted to apologize for flaking out on PMs. This month has been really difficult.
But, can I brag just a little? I posted a little bit about this in another thread but Annie and everyone else (the RUI grown ups, lol) post here.

The 5th marked the 1yr anniversary of my daughters death. Her girlfriend had invited me to a bar-b-q and I told her I wasn't sure. I didn't feel like I could celebrate the worst fucking day of my life.

At the last minute I decided to go and I was completely blown away by how much they had done.

They threw a huge party in celebration of her life in this big field at her girlfriends home. There was tons of food, drinks, and music. There were pictures of her everywhere. I had no idea it would be this elaborate with so many people.

Her girlfriend is native as well and had some of the elders stop by with drums to sing our tribes Honor and Awakening songs. That in itself was powerful.

Sorry this is so long but I had to post about it because I still cant get over how much effort they put into it.

To have your childs memory so fiercely guarded with such devotion is more than I could ever ask for and it really speaks to how many lives she impacted in her short time here on earth.
Its definitely brought me to better place...even if only temporary.
Living in the memories of others is immortality.
:hug::hug::hug:
 

tyler.durden

Well-Known Member
I got social services involved last time. They won't do anything, they said she's competent enough and you can't stop someone from giving away everything they own, even if it makes them destitute.

IDK if I can turn her away. I live in her house, but she uses the address for some stuff. There's no contracts, just a verbal agreement, so she could claim residency. I'll be out, cause I can't live with her. I've just got so much time and money invested here between my grow, my garden and my garage, the thought of having to walk away from it all is wrenching my gut.

I've been through the gamut with this, twice now. My only option is to wait it out and roll with whatever comes. I told her point blank last time i would disown her if she lied to me like that again, I dont think she believed me. I just can't do it anymore, I'm sick of always struggling and just waiting to get hit with the next bomb. I think im gonna puke.
Damn, that is rough. Your situation makes me glad that my mom was so accommodating regarding her care as she started to lose it (Alzheimer's). While she was still largely lucid, we made me Power of Attorney for her property and her health care, along with writing up her will and creating a Living Trust in which to put her property and assets. She was also sending money for everything to almost anyone who would ask. I ended up giving her a debit card to her accounts with only a couple hundred to spend, this way I could see what and how she was spending. After having to cancel 3 or 4 cards on her, I took away her access to her accounts and simply bought her whatever she needed. I gave my sister, who luckily lived a few blocks from her, a card so she could take her shopping and such. I can't imagine not having the power to care for her, that would have been hellish. She passed a last year, but we took good care of her for the last few years of her life. Things will probably get worse for your family's situation before it gets better, so be ready and take all the support you are offered. You are the adult/parent now, and it's a hard road ahead. Good luck, bro...
 

dannyboy602

Well-Known Member
Taking care of a parent in their twilight sucks. I did it for several years. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
Edit: I think it's a blessing for aging widows to have gay sons to care for them. My brother and sister wouldn't have done it.
I hope I see her again someday. Sometimes I wish it was sooner rather than later.
 
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Roger A. Shrubber

Well-Known Member
I got a call last night from my mother's best friend, who she lives with. Apparently she's involved with some fucking online scam artist again, 4th time, and sending them money, again. She thinks it might even be the same guy from a few months ago. My mother swore to me it wouldn't happen again. I trusted her, for the last time now. After the last incident i tried everything I could to get her help, even going to the police, which is a last resort option for me in ANY scenario. I'm now positive we're going to lose the house. She's already under a payment agreement with the mortgage company. She won't give me any of the account info so I can pay on it. I tried calling to make a payment and i can't without account info. She stopped paying it for months at the end of last year into the spring of this year to send money to some guy in Africa. Her friend told me she owes her months of rent, and she's now demanded payment and gave her a 60 day notice. I've been fixing up my father's old truck to repace her shitty car, at my expense, and she fucks me again. There's absolutely nothing I can do to stop her. I'm done. I'm so fucking devastated right now. I haven't slept, I can't keep food down, I haven't stopped shaking. I haven't drank in over 2 months and the bottle of vodka I'm looking at is really inviting. Sure I might shit blood tomorrow, I doubt think it really fucking matters anymore....
it's a hard decision to make, but it might be time for an assisted living facility, and a power of attorney. i'm not sure how old your mom is, but it sounds like she has some problems she can't deal with herself. she might not appreciate it right now, but the right thing to do is step in and stop her from screwing herself irreparably.
 

curious2garden

Well-Known Mod
Staff member
don't talk to the health department, go talk to a lawyer, tell him the whole story, and see what he has to say. i've noticed that a lot of people that work in public offices are lazy, and try to pass shit off. get a lawyer asking, and they get a lot more motivated for some reason.
I think you need to give the local Public Health Department the chance to act first. If they tell you no as they did to WeedFreak then, I agree completely, the private attorney is the way to go. Getting a conservatorship today is extremely difficult so it's helpful if you can do it through the appropriate agency.
 

WeedFreak78

Well-Known Member
it's a hard decision to make, but it might be time for an assisted living facility, and a power of attorney. i'm not sure how old your mom is, but it sounds like she has some problems she can't deal with herself. she might not appreciate it right now, but the right thing to do is step in and stop her from screwing herself irreparably.
don't talk to the health department, go talk to a lawyer, tell him the whole story, and see what he has to say. i've noticed that a lot of people that work in public offices are lazy, and try to pass shit off. get a lawyer asking, and they get a lot more motivated for some reason.
I've tried multiple times. She's only 65. Over the last 5ish years this would be the 3rd instance. I've talked to social services, police, fbi, elder services, her phone carrier and her bank to try doing something to stop it. I've consulted attorneys, one a close friend of my uncle's. I can't do shit. She's totally straight, so I can't claim drugs or alcohol as a root cause, which would make things easier. She just comes off as an aloof, happy go lucky, person to everyone. And she's not completely stupid, she knows what to say, or not to say, most of the time. Which convinces people that don't know her thay she's ok, but I can usually tear her stories apart.

I've begged her to let me handle all the finance, I've tried to get her to go to a financial planner if she doesn't trust me. About a month ago I found out about the mortgage issue. I tried sitting down with her to figure out how she's going to get her finances back in order and she couldn't even tell me how much income she gets a month. She's on a fixed income.. it doesn't change. That conversion ended like most.. her saying "don't worry, it'll all work out" with a big smile. I wanted to punch her square in the face, maybe it'd shake something loose. Arghhhhhh!:wall::wall::wall::wall:
 

Chunky Stool

Well-Known Member
I would if I were me:eyesmoke:
I'm picky about what I give them in bloom, but this looks like it could be a cheap option for veg that hits all the bases.
A tad low in calcium plus extra sulfur, but that shouldn't be a problem.
-- edit --
I see that I was wrong about all the bases being covered.
There's no molybdenum or boron, so this is not a "complete" nute for soil-less mediums.
 

curious2garden

Well-Known Mod
Staff member
I've tried multiple times. She's only 65. Over the last 5ish years this would be the 3rd instance. I've talked to social services, police, fbi, elder services, her phone carrier and her bank to try doing something to stop it. I've consulted attorneys, one a close friend of my uncle's. I can't do shit. She's totally straight, so I can't claim drugs or alcohol as a root cause, which would make things easier. She just comes off as an aloof, happy go lucky, person to everyone. And she's not completely stupid, she knows what to say, or not to say, most of the time. Which convinces people that don't know her thay she's ok, but I can usually tear her stories apart.

I've begged her to let me handle all the finance, I've tried to get her to go to a financial planner if she doesn't trust me. About a month ago I found out about the mortgage issue. I tried sitting down with her to figure out how she's going to get her finances back in order and she couldn't even tell me how much income she gets a month. She's on a fixed income.. it doesn't change. That conversion ended like most.. her saying "don't worry, it'll all work out" with a big smile. I wanted to punch her square in the face, maybe it'd shake something loose. Arghhhhhh!:wall::wall::wall::wall:
Ouch
 
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