The effect of deployment and what it can do to a man

Padawanbater2

Padawanbater2

Well-Known Member
On the documentary 'Restrepo', this is one soldier's response;


"I have never had the nerve to watch this documentary, but I am looking for something I can have a few family members watch. They are the stereotypical middle-aged rural "tough guy" types that have nothing but a high school education and years of unskilled labor under their belts. They think they know everything about war and patriotism because they watch a bunch of Hollywood movies that are one part John Wayne, three parts American exceptionalism, and sprinkled with some very loose "based on a true story". They think combat turns people into goddamn action heroes and I haven't been able to get through to them. Being treated like a movie hero that can take care of anything thrown at me just adds to the weight that I already carry.

I want to show them something that can convey coming home with 17 fewer brothers. I want them to have some understanding of what it is like to watch three of those men die. I want them to have some understanding of the helplessness that is felt while watching and waiting for a friend's body to die over a six hour period after he took an RPG to the head. I want them to contemplate the emotions that go along with a driving need to put a bullet in your own friend to end his suffering during all those hours.

I want them to understand the sacrifices our interpreters make. At least eight of mine were killed between 2003 and 2010. Many of their family members were killed too.

I want them to understand the biggest losers are the civilians caught in the middle. I can remember the number of people I killed and I can remember the number of people I lost, but I stopped counting civilians at 60. I want them to attempt to understand what it is like to watch a mother picking up the pieces of her three year old girl after a mortar meant for us falls short and kills her kids kicking a soccer ball behind her home. I want them to have some understanding of the sights, smells, and sounds after a major car bomb goes off in Baghdad killing dozens. I want them to imagine pulling the charred bodies of innocent men, women, and children out of the burned husks of vehicles. I want my family to understand that I see those children every time one of them suggests that we should bomb or execute every Muslim so we can finally "win". I want my family to understand I want to beat the everliving shit out of them every time they so callously suggest murdering civilians so they can have their "win".

I want them to understand that I don't care about being the person they think I should be. I have been to hell and back and realized that I just don't have the energy to pretend to be normal so they can feel comfortable and sleep at night.

Will this documentary convey any of this to my family?"

https://np.reddit.com/r/Documentari...cumentary_about_us_soldiers/d1dspwr?context=3
 
doublejj said:
Yeah, combat it will get to you. Vietnam was no picnic....
Click to expand...
American soldiers who fought in Vietnam saw something like 20x the action soldiers saw in WW2, that is incredible!

Can you tell me your thoughts/feelings when you found out you were being sent to Vietnam? Other than the combat, how did you like the country, the people, the culture?

Have you been back to 'Nam since the war?
 
doublejj said:
Yeah, combat it will get to you. Vietnam was no picnic....this was my unit, 9th Infantry
Click to expand...
10th Mountain Division here. Afghanistan '09. Thank you for your service, and thanks to all 'Nam era veterans. Like, I have a lot of respect for the 'Nam guys. They didn't get the welcome home and such we do today, and I feel like I need to let you guys know that I am grateful and your service has been appreciated.
 
Olive Drab Green said:
10th Mountain Division here. Afghanistan '09. Thank you for your service, and thanks to all 'Nam era veterans. Like, I have a lot of respect for the 'Nam guys. They didn't get the welcome home and such we do today, and I feel like I need to let you guys know that I am grateful and your service has been appreciated.
Click to expand...
What were your thoughts/feelings when you knew you were going to be sent to Afghanistan?

Thoughts on the country, the people, the culture?

If you read the OP, what did you think about it? Are that soldiers experiences common? Did you feel any similarities when you returned home?
 
Padawanbater2 said:
On the documentary 'Restrepo', this is one soldier's response;


"I have never had the nerve to watch this documentary, but I am looking for something I can have a few family members watch. They are the stereotypical middle-aged rural "tough guy" types that have nothing but a high school education and years of unskilled labor under their belts. They think they know everything about war and patriotism because they watch a bunch of Hollywood movies that are one part John Wayne, three parts American exceptionalism, and sprinkled with some very loose "based on a true story". They think combat turns people into goddamn action heroes and I haven't been able to get through to them. Being treated like a movie hero that can take care of anything thrown at me just adds to the weight that I already carry.

I want to show them something that can convey coming home with 17 fewer brothers. I want them to have some understanding of what it is like to watch three of those men die. I want them to have some understanding of the helplessness that is felt while watching and waiting for a friend's body to die over a six hour period after he took an RPG to the head. I want them to contemplate the emotions that go along with a driving need to put a bullet in your own friend to end his suffering during all those hours.

I want them to understand the sacrifices our interpreters make. At least eight of mine were killed between 2003 and 2010. Many of their family members were killed too.

I want them to understand the biggest losers are the civilians caught in the middle. I can remember the number of people I killed and I can remember the number of people I lost, but I stopped counting civilians at 60. I want them to attempt to understand what it is like to watch a mother picking up the pieces of her three year old girl after a mortar meant for us falls short and kills her kids kicking a soccer ball behind her home. I want them to have some understanding of the sights, smells, and sounds after a major car bomb goes off in Baghdad killing dozens. I want them to imagine pulling the charred bodies of innocent men, women, and children out of the burned husks of vehicles. I want my family to understand that I see those children every time one of them suggests that we should bomb or execute every Muslim so we can finally "win". I want my family to understand I want to beat the everliving shit out of them every time they so callously suggest murdering civilians so they can have their "win".

I want them to understand that I don't care about being the person they think I should be. I have been to hell and back and realized that I just don't have the energy to pretend to be normal so they can feel comfortable and sleep at night.

Will this documentary convey any of this to my family?"

https://np.reddit.com/r/Documentari...cumentary_about_us_soldiers/d1dspwr?context=3
Click to expand...

isn't this the political section?..Home Depot shopping cart theft and man feelz is the next forum over, Pada.
 
Padawanbater2 said:
What were your thoughts/feelings when you knew you were going to be sent to Afghanistan?

Thoughts on the country, the people, the culture?

If you read the OP, what did you think about it? Are that soldiers experiences common? Did you feel any similarities when you returned home?
Click to expand...

I chose to go to Afghanistan. Although upon learning I was a few weeks from deploying, I used to wake up at 3am every morning, asking myself what I was doing. I was afraid I wouldn't be ready but I wanted to go.


Nice culture, the people im the tribal lands are very shady, but the ones I worked with as interpreters were awesome. We trusted them. We caught the ANA selling fuel to the Taliban, though.

I'll have to read the OP and then respond to the last.
 
Thanks guy's...back at yah.
I volunteered for the Army right out of high school 1969 because I would have been drafted anyway. I knew I was going to Vietnam so I volunteered to become a medic because I heard they never walk point.....what I didn't figure on was, who would be expected to crawl out to the wounded point man in a firefight.........Every firefight!:wall:
 
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I'd say, sure, I share the sentiment. I just kind of realized that it's not something you can convey, it's an experience, so no one will understand. I started abusing amphetamines and opiates for a while. I'm clean now, save weed. I just didn't want to sleep and I wanted to forget how lonely and ugly everything was. Alcohol was my undoing. I lost a lot of Even the simplest things in my life, down to being able to feel something outside of anger or numbness. It kind if felt like being trapped in my own body for a while. Like, the numbness was like a prison. It's hard to explain. You just can't feel anyone around you and your family, they get scared because they don't understand you, won't even know who you are or how to help you so they villify you and throw you away. Pretty shitty.
 
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Olive Drab Green said:
I'd say, sure, I share the sentiment. I just kind of realized that it's not something you can convey, it's an experience, so no one will understand. I started abusing amphetamines and opiates for a while. I'm clean now, save weed. I just didn't want to sleep and I wanted to forget how lonely and ugly everything was. Alcohol was my undoing. I lost a lot of things in my life, down to being able to feel something outside of anger or numbness. It kind if felt like being trapped in my own body for a while. Like, the numbness was like a prison. It's hard to explain. You just can't feel anyone around you and they get scared because your closest family won't even know who you are or how to help you so they villify you and throw you away. Pretty shitty.
Click to expand...
I consider one of my greatest victories in life was returning home from Nam not only alive but NOT a junkie.....
 
Olive Drab Green said:
I'd say, sure, I share the sentiment. I just kind of realized that it's not something you can convey, it's an experience, so no one will understand. I started abusing amphetamines and opiates for a while. I'm clean now, save weed. I just didn't want to sleep and I wanted to forget how lonely and ugly everything was. Alcohol was my undoing. I lost a lot of things in my life, down to being able to feel something outside of anger or numbness. It kind if felt like being trapped in my own body for a while. Like, the numbness was like a prison. It's hard to explain. You just can't feel anyone around you and they get scared because your closest family won't even know who you are or how to help you so they villify you and throw you away. Pretty shitty.
Click to expand...

the feeling of like you are trapped in your own body or boxed in is classic major depressive disorder combined with anxiety (which is electrical almost buzzing boxed in) there are several anti depressants that work well for it.
 
schuylaar said:
the feeling of like you are trapped in your own body or boxed in is classic major depressive disorder combined with anxiety (which is electrical almost buzzing boxed in) there are several anti depressants that work well for it.
Click to expand...
I suffer PTSD. I'm medically retired for PTSD and TBI. 50% DoD, 60% VA.
 
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