Need Help Leaving My Wife

ClaytonBigsby

Well-Known Member
I got really darunk on the Fireball again tonight (seems to be happening a lot lately) and went for a walk. I was walking through this really big park where I live (I think it’s like 5,200 acres) and about 2 miles in I noticed some fires and music so I climbed down the trail to check it out. There was all of these people dressed in what looked like rags, but layered really cool, hats, scarves, loose bangles, and shit. I thought it might be some sweat lodge or something but I knew it was in a city park. When I approached them they all stared at me and became silent. I asked if they had seen my dog so I could keep walking through. About 100 yards down the way this really beautiful girl caught up to me and offered to help me look for my dog. She stared at me right in the eyes like she was looking for my soul. I hid it pretty well but it didn’t seem to discourage her from trying. I think she knew I didn’t have a dog because she just blurted out, “I know you don’t have a dog, did we scare you?”. I said no, I just didn’t feel welcome and didn’t want to bother anyone. She said “don’t be silly, we were all strangers at one point”. I told her I was stranger at all points and I think she liked it. She talked me into going back and introduced me to everyone. Now, I;m usually pretty bad with names but these folks had some really strange ones so it was really hard; Moondust, Keebler, Kizzy, Vadoma, Shandor, Grant, Cherish, Sahara, and the like.


They offered me a cup of something they all ladeled out of a barrel. It burned pretty bad but had a fruity taste and my new friend Ember wanted to taste it on my lips. She was pretty forward but in a slow, gentle, sincere way that made me want to play, and not disappoint. After a while I was pretty lit and we were all laughing and dancing. It started raining, but the large canopy of the trees kept it off of us for the most part. Ember asked me if I wanted to go look for my dog again and we went back into the darkness of the forest. At one point we stopped and she said she couldn’t see while she started to grope around, feeling me up. I was thinking she was some type of devil woman but it felt so right. Shit got real and long story short, I think I am going to join my new friends for a while. They talked about maybe heading towards the coast for the Summer, but anything goes.


So, I haven’t told my wife. I am trying to figure out how to break off clean. Should I go for “the loaf of bread” and never come back (my grandfather did that one, so it may be played out)? Should I park my car somewhere with the driver’s door open? Should I just say “see ya!”? Should I book a flight on AirAsia and not get on?


What do you guys think I should do so I don’t hurt my wife?
 

ttystikk

Well-Known Member
So you're admitting you're too chickenshit to look her in the eye and tell her the truth; that you met some homeless people in the park, got drunk, got laid, and now you don't like your old life anymore?

Yeah, just run away. But leave your car keys and your wallet, she's going to need them.
 

ClaytonBigsby

Well-Known Member
So you're admitting you're too chickenshit to look her in the eye and tell her the truth; that you met some homeless people in the park, got drunk, got laid, and now you don't like your old life anymore?

Yeah, just run away. But leave your car keys and your wallet, she's going to need them.

It's not about being chickenshit. I do love her, alot. I don;t want to hurt her so I think it's easier if she thinks I'm just missing. What's wrong with you??
 

ttystikk

Well-Known Member
It's not about being chickenshit. I do love her, alot. I don;t want to hurt her so I think it's easier if she thinks I'm just missing. What's wrong with you??
Not a damn thing wrong with ME, fella- you're the asshole who got drunk and wants to leave a woman you made a commitment to.

I took care of my wife for eight years AFTER she decided our marriage wasn't going to work. She did it the right way, however; she looked me in the eye and told me how she felt and asked to remain friends.

We did, and our daughter just won a prestigious award- and she's joined my sister's family so she can live as part of a diplomatic family, an opportunity neither of us could give her on our own.

That's called 'selfless' action, and you might reflect on how you can do the same for your wife... once you sober up and quit thinking with your dick.
 

ClaytonBigsby

Well-Known Member
Not a damn thing wrong with ME, fella- you're the asshole who got drunk and wants to leave a woman you made a commitment to.

I took care of my wife for eight years AFTER she decided our marriage wasn't going to work. She did it the right way, however; she looked me in the eye and told me how she felt and asked to remain friends.

We did, and our daughter just won a prestigious award- and she's joined my sister's family so she can live as part of a diplomatic family, an opportunity neither of us could give her on our own.

That's called 'selfless' action, and you might reflect on how you can do the same for your wife... once you sober up and quit thinking with your dick.

Maybe it's the whiskey. but I don;t get you, tittystick. So, your wife told you she didn't want to be your wife (presumably so she could pork some other dude(s), and you "took care of her for eight more years"?!?!?!?!?!!? You know you don;t get those years back, right? (or the money)

I'm not trying to be a dick, but sometimes shit just feels right, you know? I'm trying to do the right thing for everyone. How does that make me the bad guy?

 
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dbkick

Well-Known Member
One night with a group of people and you're ready to leave a marriage of how long? Plus a female that bangs you within hours of meeting you? She's done that before and will do it again.
Pretty bold and I suspect you'll be back on both knees before you know it.
I'm all for doing wtf you wanna do but I'd think the consequences should be thought through very very thoroughly .
 

ttystikk

Well-Known Member
Maybe it's the whiskey. but I don;t get you, tittystick. So, your wife told you she didn't want to be your wife (presumably so she could pork some other dude(s), and you "took care of her for eight more years"?!?!?!?!?!!? You know you don;t get those years back, right?

I'm not trying to be a dick, but sometimes shit just feels right, you know? I'm trying to do the right thing for everyone. How does that make me the bad guy?
We had a child together and I don't run out on my commitments.

My objection isn't about leaving, it's about bailing out without being honest.

I couldn't live with myself, maybe you can.
 

Growan

Well-Known Member
I got really darunk on the Fireball again tonight (seems to be happening a lot lately) and went for a walk. I was walking through this really big park where I live (I think it’s like 5,200 acres) and about 2 miles in I noticed some fires and music so I climbed down the trail to check it out. There was all of these people dressed in what looked like rags, but layered really cool, hats, scarves, loose bangles, and shit. I thought it might be some sweat lodge or something but I knew it was in a city park. When I approached them they all stared at me and became silent. I asked if they had seen my dog so I could keep walking through. About 100 yards down the way this really beautiful girl caught up to me and offered to help me look for my dog. She stared at me right in the eyes like she was looking for my soul. I hid it pretty well but it didn’t seem to discourage her from trying. I think she knew I didn’t have a dog because she just blurted out, “I know you don’t have a dog, did we scare you?”. I said no, I just didn’t feel welcome and didn’t want to bother anyone. She said “don’t be silly, we were all strangers at one point”. I told her I was stranger at all points and I think she liked it. She talked me into going back and introduced me to everyone. Now, I;m usually pretty bad with names but these folks had some really strange ones so it was really hard; Moondust, Keebler, Kizzy, Vadoma, Shandor, Grant, Cherish, Sahara, and the like.


They offered me a cup of something they all ladeled out of a barrel. It burned pretty bad but had a fruity taste and my new friend Ember wanted to taste it on my lips. She was pretty forward but in a slow, gentle, sincere way that made me want to play, and not disappoint. After a while I was pretty lit and we were all laughing and dancing. It started raining, but the large canopy of the trees kept it off of us for the most part. Ember asked me if I wanted to go look for my dog again and we went back into the darkness of the forest. At one point we stopped and she said she couldn’t see while she started to grope around, feeling me up. I was thinking she was some type of devil woman but it felt so right. Shit got real and long story short, I think I am going to join my new friends for a while. They talked about maybe heading towards the coast for the Summer, but anything goes.


So, I haven’t told my wife. I am trying to figure out how to break off clean. Should I go for “the loaf of bread” and never come back (my grandfather did that one, so it may be played out)? Should I park my car somewhere with the driver’s door open? Should I just say “see ya!”? Should I book a flight on AirAsia and not get on?


What do you guys think I should do so I don’t hurt my wife?
It's not the same thing but when I was 21 I went to Stone Henge on the Solstice to take acid and bait druids (excellent, victimless fun) and ended up meeting a hippy chick who was part of a nomadic crew of truck and bus dwellers. I bought a car for 20 quid and tagged along with them. So far I have no regrets. It sent my life in a completely different direction which resulted in where I am today.

Anyway. What's the best way to do this... Could you bring Ember and maybe a couple of the others back to your house? Maybe under the guise of getting a shower and a real meal?
Have them bring some of that stuff you drank, it seems to have some sort of inhibition lifting property. Get your wife high on the shit and then tell her you think you should both go with this new tribe. If she refuses, it's her who's rejecting the status quo and if she accepts I'm sure Grant or Keebler or Wombat will take her on so you can explore the rest of the treasures on offer?

Either way I figure that's a pretty guilt free way to go about things. Good luck, hope it all works out for you.
 

ClaytonBigsby

Well-Known Member
Could you bring Ember and maybe a couple of the others back to your house? Maybe under the guise of getting a shower and a real meal?
Have them bring some of that stuff you drank, it seems to have some sort of inhibition lifting property. Get your wife high on the shit and then tell her you think you should both go with this new tribe. If she refuses, it's her who's rejecting the status quo and if she accepts I'm sure Grant or Keebler or Wombat will take her on so you can explore the rest of the treasures on offer?

FUCK NO! My wife would go ballistic. cops would be called, maybe paramedics. Shit wouldn;t be right. Beside, what if dbkick is right and I do come back in a few months? I don;t want Grant, or Sven, or any of those wookies hittin her ladybits.

It;s gotta be clean. I go missing, hook up with Ember (and there was another girl kinda eyeing me that was pretty cute). Maybe I end up like Growan. Perfectly happy travellin. I;m really an anarchist at heart. I don't like people up in my shit. I do love my wife, for the last time, that's why I don;t want to hurt her. How about some advice on that, MFers??!?!?!?
50 ways sounds great, I just need one that works for everyone involved, and I think for me to end up missing is the best. That way, if shit goes sideways on the trail I can pop up with some story and all is well. MAybe even get a GD fund me and get rich.
 

_MrBelvedere_

Well-Known Member
FUCK NO! My wife would go ballistic. cops would be called, maybe paramedics. Shit wouldn;t be right. Beside, what if dbkick is right and I do come back in a few months? I don;t want Grant, or Sven, or any of those wookies hittin her ladybits.

It;s gotta be clean. I go missing, hook up with Ember (and there was another girl kinda eyeing me that was pretty cute). Maybe I end up like Growan. Perfectly happy travellin. I;m really an anarchist at heart. I don't like people up in my shit. I do love my wife, for the last time, that's why I don;t want to hurt her. How about some advice on that, MFers??!?!?!?
50 ways sounds great, I just need one that works for everyone involved, and I think for me to end up missing is the best. That way, if shit goes sideways on the trail I can pop up with some story and all is well. MAybe even get a GD fund me and get rich.
Expounding on the Air Asia idea....Maybe the best approach is tell her you want to start making bank and being a pilot is a great way. Ask her if she can put you thru flight school?
 

Alienwidow

Well-Known Member
Atta boy bigs! Im ham jammed myself tonight and i know the feeling. My sugestion is to head down to the northern californian coast in a couple months with your girl and the bandicoots and set em up in a work camp. Youll make 20% across the board and you can be a dignitary and handle complaints about not enough tampons in the ladies side of the fortress. Its all outsidde living which im sure after a year with madame darkshade Youll thoroughly enjoy fornicating too.
Seriously though, ive seen your dick, can she really fit the whole thing into her mouth and lick the balls while smiling?
 
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