I am soliciting your best advice for being a dad....

[dannyboy602]

Oh Rick what can I say. I was never a dad but that doesn't stop me from trying to be one. I helped raise many.I spoiled and spent and showed them how to shave at 5 and by 8 was showing them how to drive. I conspired when I had to and showed them to be street smart. Gave them desire and the means to get educated. Watched them have their own kids. You'll be a fine dad Rick. Just breathe.
"It'll be fun they said. You're gonna love it they said." Haha.

 

[Red1966]

At the time I was sitting next to her. All her needs were taken care of. It seems like Santa isn't the only judgmental bastard around.

If you're married, you'll get used to that.

 

[Jimmyjonestoo]

buy smoke alarms.

also, the second you see your son dropping the limp wrist, you walk over there and crack that wrist. Man up. Give him a good punch. Ok? You are not going to act like that. You were made by God to be a male and you are going to be a male. And when your daughter starts acting too butch, you reign her in. And you say, 'Oh, no, sweetheart. You can play sports. Play them to the glory of God. But sometimes you are going to act like a girl and walk like a girl and talk like a girl and smell like a girl and that means you are going to be beautiful. You are going to be attractive. You are going to dress yourself up.

got that shit straight from God.

I love you. Total homo.

 

[ebgood]

CONGRATS!!

if i have any advice, its just be there. kids need presence more than presents. everything else just learn as u go and do what U feel is right for ur child

 

[justugh]

Ok, we are at the hospital. Waiting. My darling is in bed with a baby heart monitor on. Everything seems good. She's not really having contractions but her water broke. I'm guessing we are not leaving here without a baby even if they have to induce. So we agreed on the first name, not quite the middle name.

So please give me your best advice for the next 30 years. You don't have to be a parent and you don't need to be serious.

depending on what u are having a boy or a girl

u already have the redneck thing down to use to scare the boys if it is a girl
as for the boys set limits .......always bail them out of jail if u can and not a horrible crime...if u have to come into a meeting for the kid in school or something do the errr ahhh act for the ppl when u get a chance pat the kid on the head and say fuck them all is cool be good

move your weed stash and all beer /drink to the high self now go around baby proofing your place (get drunk think like a baby and make it safe ) ....your wife will love u for this it call nesting it makes pregnant ladies extremely happy ......when u do this clean everything put it where she wants it and just say yes dear ......when her mind comes back in 3 to 6 years depends on the kid and what u do she will love u more (this might buy your boys more time before she makes u get snipped ) your best bet is hot baths later raise the temps your boys it kills the swimmers hot tub for like 20/40 mins every 3 days

if u or your wife have a mind odds the kid will be smarter so u should save money now for college and schooling stuff....plus sports and other things they might want to do u are looking about 50k easy

last part is the easy part be the dad u wanted .......goal as humans should to always improve on what we had so if u had a killer cool dad u will be 10Xs that ........in a few months u should call your pops and thank him for not drowning u as a child .....u will see

 

[justugh]

oh i forgot

some ppl want to know u might or might not

u should get a genetic test done on yourself and wife to find out if u have any recessive genes..........this will tell u if there is any odds of something later so u can plan for those things now from the start ........it is safer then testing the baby not as dead on but u know if it is the cards at all

oh do your daddy freak out thing before the last part of the prego cycle this will get u ready and keep her calm ........so do all the drive test to hospital put the numbers on a list have the bags packed and know where they are (trick i picked up make copies of your drivers id insurance cards and all the important numbers and names of everyone put them all together in a plastic gallon zip lock and put in the bags for hospital ....if u can print up the admit forms before hand fill them in just do not date )


the driving test plan 3 routes incase one or 2 is cut off and have a back up hospital .........check with insurance ppl and see if they cover 911 calls to ride to hospital when prego have that option open do not want to be on highway with kid coming out in your back seat

 

[justugh]

oh pain killers for u when she is given birth ..........u might come out with battle scars .....freaky strong wear a cup
and do not freak out if she rips from v to a they do good work in out 5 days

c section trust me do not look over the curtain u never want to see your wife like that .......keep your back to it keep talking to her stay clam ....she will be in hospital for a good bit 2 3 weeks

no sex until she jumps u can be a few months so tell her she still looks good and have a porn site on file somewhere ...........if it goes more the n 4 /5 months seek help from talk doctors it can be a sign something is messed up with chemicals from given birth

 

[Growan]

Congrats, Balders, new year, new beginnings!

Prepare to feel like a spare part. You won't be much use for a while, nappy changing, bathing and burping is about as helpful as you can be right now. Particularly if the wee man is mummycentric. That changes by 6 months, when they actually get interesting. By 2 they're hilarious.

Take photos. Lots, everyday. If digital, organise by date and back them up. If film, print and guard the negatives.
Sounds obvious, but time can slip away and you won't believe what you'll miss.
Go buy a decent camera. Today.

Enjoy.

 

[Alienwidow]

just take a lot of pictures. you'll need em. they grow so fast.

 

[TripleMindedGee5150]

Just set by example. Be firm and strictvut not overly. You the parents are the law.

Shower with lots of love ,share and always get down to their level to explain things.

The baby years are a breeze (xcept for poopy diapers and the etc) But you don't have to really watch what you say.

Set by example or always remember to say "Don't do as I do , but do as I say"

Congrats

 

[KLITE]

Congratulations!

The best advice i can give you is raise your kid the way youd have liked to be raised yourself. I hope you dont raise him to be a spoiled little indoor bound asshole like most kids nowadays.

Best of luck man!

 

[oldtimer54]

Your kids will dictate what kind of parent you'll be. One piece of advice I'll give is always do what you say.....don't make promises you're not going to keep. You'll learn as you go especially on the first child. Congrats on the upcoming addition
May the force be with you !

 

[neosapien]

Good luck to you guys man! My first piece of advice is to remember that it's all new to your wife and she'll need some extra help and encouragement the first couple months. My second piece would be to get used to masturbating in the shower again because it's gonna be a minute bro. Good lucks guys, I'm happy for ya!

 

[Unclebaldrick]

So contractions started for real last night. I'm guessing I won't be going to poker tonight.

 

[Growan]

So contractions started for real last night. I'm guessing I won't be going to poker tonight.

Go and pack yourself something to eat. Couple of sandwiches, chocolate, cola etc. You could be in there a long time and you wont want to leave her to fetch supplies once shes in the swing of things. You'll be no use to her if your exhausted too, so as wrong as it sounds, take yourself provisions!

Also, telll her to take ALL the drugs they offer. Trust me. Best possible birth plan.

 

[Unclebaldrick]

Go and pack yourself something to eat. Couple of sandwiches, chocolate, cola etc. You could be in there a long time and you wont want to leave her to fetch supplies once shes in the swing of things. You'll be no use to her if your exhausted too, so as wrong as it sounds, take yourself provisions!

Also, telll her to take ALL the drugs they offer. Trust me. Best possible birth plan.

We got the provisions mostly covered. I'll fill any gaps today.

She's about the least druggy person I know but she is open to an epidural. She's not going to have one automatically. I plan on smoking some sherm just before labor. Just kidding.... Gotta watch myself after the bath salt thing.

 

[Commander Strax]

 

[Growan]

We got the provisions mostly covered. I'll fill any gaps today.

She's about the least druggy person I know but she is open to an epidural. She's not going to have one automatically. I plan on smoking some sherm just before labor. Just kidding.... Gotta watch myself after the bath salt thing.

It's not about drugs, it's about less pain!

Natural birth is not a beautiful thing. It's a screaming bloody mess. Some midwives in the uk have some weird fucked up agenda where they try and demonise women who prefer to have a slightly less horrific birth by opting to use the woefully inadequate painkillers available.
First time round, we didn't realise we were going to get railroaded into a more 'natural' (read miserable) birth.
Second time round, despite the fact that the unit was literally weeks old and had the promise of all sorts of birthing pools with dolphins in, anti gravity chambers lined with bubbles of joy and teams of massage trained oompaloompas to help out, we opted for the 'bed and painkillers, please. We've done this before'.
Nobody argued and we had an....acceptable birth. My missus felt no less of a woman for it.

 

[tytheguy111]

just take a lot of pictures. you'll need em. they grow so fast.

yeah and plus its fun looking at yourself as a baby and a toddler lol its weird as shit too because you just think to yourself like wow i cant believe how simple shit used to be

 

[Alienwidow]

yeah and plus its fun looking at yourself as a baby and a toddler lol its weird as shit too because you just think to yourself like wow i cant believe how simple shit used to be

i wish i could get away with shitting my pants still.