ºººLIE'Sººº

TwistItUp

TwistItUp

Well-Known Member
hahaha, I have a really good one you are all going to love ;D
Before my Grandfather passed away I drove him to doctors appointments for years as well as driving him to other events he would partake in. One of the times I took him to a doctors appointment the doctor had asked him, how many years have you been smoking. He replied, the better part of the past 77 years. I believe he was only 82 at the time. Started smoking at 5? That didn't seem right but maybe. After taking care of his needs for the day, I go home and had to share the story with my mother and sister that Grandpa told the doctor hes been smoking since he was 5, the better part of the past 77 years. They both laughed. A couple days later I had to be a turd and take it to the next level. I went online and found a black and white photo of a child smoking a cigarette. I told my sister holly shit look what I found its a picture of Grandpa smoking when he was a kid. It must be true. I had taken a pic of the picture I found online with a cell phone and told her it was a pic of a photo I found at his house. She had already told all her friends about him saying he had been smoking since 5 and she went to work telling everyone there as well. Then when I showed her that pic she just knew it was true and shared the pic with everyone. I had actually forgotten that I told her that child was a pic of our Grandfather. Till several months later she brought it up again telling me about how someone at her work was so stunned but they all agree that he grew up in a different time. As she is telling me this I'm like... What are you talking about? She shows me the pic on her smart phone and I just bust out laughing my ass off. Nearly crying as she starts telling me how she went and shared the story with all her friends. I couldn't get a word out. All I could do was point at my mother, then gesture at my sister to show her the pic on the cell phone, our mother knew the pic wasn't him. As my sister shows our mother the pic my mother loses it too and burst into laughter. That's when I said to my sister, You thought that was really him? I had no idea she believed me. That kid actually looks like him too.

 
bradburry

bradburry

Well-Known Member
TwistItUp said:
hahaha, I have a really good one you are all going to love ;D
Before my Grandfather passed away I drove him to doctors appointments for years as well as driving him to other events he would partake in. One of the times I took him to a doctors appointment the doctor had asked him, how many years have you been smoking. He replied, the better part of the past 77 years. I believe he was only 82 at the time. Started smoking at 5? That didn't seem right but maybe. After taking care of his needs for the day, I go home and had to share the story with my mother and sister that Grandpa told the doctor hes been smoking since he was 5, the better part of the past 77 years. They both laughed. A couple days later I had to be a turd and take it to the next level. I went online and found a black and white photo of a child smoking a cigarette. I told my sister holly shit look what I found its a picture of Grandpa smoking when he was a kid. It must be true. I had taken a pic of the picture I found online with a cell phone and told her it was a pic of a photo I found at his house. She had already told all her friends about him saying he had been smoking since 5 and she went to work telling everyone there as well. Then when I showed her that pic she just knew it was true and shared the pic with everyone. I had actually forgotten that I told her that child was a pic of our Grandfather. Till several months later she brought it up again telling me about how someone at her work was so stunned but they all agree that he grew up in a different time. As she is telling me this I'm like... What are you talking about? She shows me the pic on her smart phone and I just bust out laughing my ass off. Nearly crying as she starts telling me how she went and shared the story with all her friends. I couldn't get a word out. All I could do was point at my mother, then gesture at my sister to show her the pic on the cell phone, our mother knew the pic wasn't him. As my sister shows our mother the pic my mother loses it too and burst into laughter. That's when I said to my sister, You thought that was really him? I had no idea she believed me. That kid actually looks like him too.

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you should hung at dawn.lol
 
TwistItUp

TwistItUp

Well-Known Member
bradburry said:
you should hung at dawn.lol
Click to expand...
That's probably not my worst lie too.
When I was younger my dad asked my sister and I where we would like to go on vacation. He said anywhere we wanted to go.
I said Hawaii and my sister agreed. Then our dad changes what he said and says it has to be somewhere we can drive. So I say Disneyland and again my sister agreed. This time the excuse was that his girlfriend didn't want to go to Disneyland. So instead somehow the trip gets decided for us and turns into this huge road trip where we went to a bunch of different attractions. Pea soup Andersen's, Hollywood, Venice beach, got to see the walk of stars, grauman theater, Ripleys believe it or not, Yosemite, Edwards air force base, universal studios, Manzanar Japanese Interment camp. I don't even remember what all we saw and did, but it ended up to be a two week or so road trip. At one of the motels we stayed at we wanted separate rooms one for our dad and his girlfriend, and one for us. But we ended up with one large room. Our dad and his girlfriend left us money for a delivery pizza, and the two of them went out for a fancy dinner. My sister and I were having fun while they were out, and I was jumping on my dad and his girlfriends bed. I mean why would I want to jump on my own bed haha. Then I jumped on my sisters bed and jumped from her bed to the bigger bed and when I did this one of the legs to my dad and his girlfriend beg broke off and went flying. I just knew I was dead meat. I had to devise a plan right away. I got the leg that went flying and I picked up the frame of the bed. I told my sister to prop the leg back under the bed, then I set the frame back down and it stayed upright. The rest of the night my sister and I sat on our own beds. Our dad and his girlfriend come back, and first thing she sat on the bed, and the leg went flying again. Like across the room, I don't even know how it flew so far. She immediately burst into tears crying out something about, am I really that fat? We never did admit to what we did, as far as I know even to this day that woman doesn't know. It worked out well for us, our dad paid for the damages and we ended up getting those two separate rooms we wanted.
 
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TwistItUp

TwistItUp

Well-Known Member
TwistItUp said:
That's probably not my worst lie too.
When I was younger my dad asked my sister and I where we would like to go on vacation. He said anywhere we wanted to go.
I said Hawaii and my sister agreed. Then our dad changes what he said and says it has to be somewhere we can drive. So I say Disneyland and again my sister agreed. This time the excuse was that his girlfriend didn't want to go to Disneyland. So instead somehow the trip gets decided for us and turns into this huge road trip where we went to a bunch of different attractions. Pea soup Andersen's, Hollywood, Venice beach, got to see the walk of stars, grauman theater, Ripleys believe it or not, Yosemite, Edwards air force base, universal studios, Manzanar Japanese Interment camp. I don't even remember what all we saw and did, but it ended up to be a two week or so road trip. At one of the motels we stayed at we wanted separate rooms one for our dad and his girlfriend, and one for us. But we ended up with one large room. Our dad and his girlfriend left us money for a delivery pizza, and the two of them went out for a fancy dinner. My sister and I were having fun while they were out, and I was jumping on my dad and his girlfriends bed. I mean why would I want to jump on my own bed haha. Then I jumped on my sisters bed and jumped from her bed to the bigger bed and when I did this one of the legs to my dad and his girlfriend beg broke off and went flying. I just knew I was dead meat. I had to devise a plan right away. I got the leg that went flying and I picked up the frame of the bed. I told my sister to prop the leg back under the bed, then I set the frame back down and it stayed upright. The rest of the night my sister and I sat on our own beds. Our dad and his girlfriend come back, and first thing she sat on the bed, and the leg went flying again. Like across the room, I don't even know how it flew so far. She immediately burst into tears crying out something about, am I really that fat? We never did admit to what we did, as far as I know even to this day that woman doesn't know. It worked out well for us, our dad paid for the damages and we ended up getting those two separate rooms we wanted.
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That woman was no saint. During that trip when we went to the Ripleys believe it or not, there was a exhibit that had a video of a man who ate some large number of eggs in a short time and set some record for it. My sister and I are standing there watching the video of this man eating eggs, and our dads girlfriend comes over and rips ass. My sister and I were both like Really! Really! You have to walk over here and fart like that. Then some man and his wife and their baby in a stroller and some other kids walk up, and the man says Oh wow, They even have smell effects!
 
TwistItUp

TwistItUp

Well-Known Member
TwistItUp said:
That woman was no saint. During that trip when we went to the Ripleys believe it or not, there was a exhibit that had a video of a man who ate some large number of eggs in a short time and set some record for it. My sister and I are standing there watching the video of this man eating eggs, and our dads girlfriend comes over and rips ass. My sister and I were both like Really! Really! You have to walk over here and fart like that. Then some man and his wife and their baby in a stroller and some other kids walk up, and the man says Oh wow, They even have smell effects!
Click to expand...
That same trip was the first time I ever saw a real hooker. We just made it to Hollywood and were on our way to a Motel 6. I spotted a whore on the corner and I asked my dad, is that one? He said, yeah, But it's an ugly one. Then it crossed the street in front of us in the cross walks. Looked right at us and adjusted its boobs. That's when I lost my shit and started point and laugh while screaming its a dude! It's a dude, hahaha. Then my dad says now wonder its such an ugly one.
 
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