Need some serious direction here guys/girls.

[James Bond]

Will she cut off her nose to spite her face?

lol, I was thinking of that the whole time I've been writing these things down. I am afraid she is that spiteful unfortunately, or I'm affraid that she will be able to get a lawyer that can twist things so that I am in full fault. Her grandparents have some major cash and they have a really good lawyer. That is why I need to not get a divorce. If we were to go our separate ways then filing for dissolution is the only way out. Unfortunately I don't have the cash to put on a lawyer and I don't want that anyways.

I think even if we could come to a common ground right now, it is our life goals that will altimately drive us appart. She is going to school to be a nurse, but when she is finished she wants to start premed. There is nothing wrong with that and I would be happy to support her, but she wants to go premed because she wants money and the praise that doctors get. It has nothing to do with helping people or because she has that personal goal to become a doctor, she is simply driven by the attention and money she would get.

 

[Seamaiden]

My father is a doctor, he went that route because he was inspired. Your wife's reasons are horrid.

 

[pandabear]

dude i dont see why u are worried about a divorce u dont need a lawer u only been married one year u only have to pay allamony for half the time u been together so 1 year equals only 6 months of support and u dont even have kids to worry about. trust me if u guys are having that much trouble only in your first year of marrage, your nuts if u think it will get better specially when u have kids.


its 10 times harder to have a marriage when u have kids and all that pressure responsibility and loss of freedom not to mention crying diapers and huge costs of the kids.

u need to tell her to put up or shut up. life is too short the only reason she is walking allover you is cuz she knows u wont leave her. thats the feeling im getting from u


all u gotta do is throw away your grow get a hammer and undo the attic, then either tell her to see the doc or tell her to hit the road and dont let her ass hit the door on the way out.

im not saying its easy, but this is what u must do if you value your life

life is too short, & regrets only come once its too late.

good luck my friend keep your head up. in two years from now u will look back and thank your lucky stars u took the steps u were supposed to to affim your rights as a husband. women all to often are selfish and only see thier needs and problems

u should never stay with someone out of fear of the unknown. im glad i finally learned that and as soon as i did and acted on it, everything is perfect now with me an my wife.

she may want u to change the channel or do this and that, but a woman will subconciously lose respect for u if u do what she says all the time

shes making u walk on eggshells? tell her to learn how to be a woman and she will respect you for it. fall into her game and both of you wil be misreble, u more than her

its time to say were not gonna take it


or just bow for the rest of your life till u blow your head offkiss-ass

 

[DutchLady27]

women all to often are selfish and only see thier needs and problems

now i dont think thats nice to say im 26 and im a great wife and mother and i really dont think only of my needs and problems i think a small few might be like this but most women are very nurturing naturaly its in our genes

 

[Seamaiden]

I agree, it's only going to cause more conflict to paint with a broad brush.

 

[James Bond]

My father is a doctor, he went that route because he was inspired. Your wife's reasons are horrid.

I know that's what makes me sick about it. She wanted to be a nurse because she wanted to help people, but then she found out how hard of a job it was and how little thanks you get. I work in the construction indestry and I enjoy my work and have a passion for what I do, fortunately I also make money.

I am the youngest person in my office and they all feel I am very mature for my age. I do not feel I am any more mature than any other 21/22yr old, but I try and make reasonable decisions. I sometimes feel that I am more mature than my wife though. I don't know this is all my side of the story, so maybe I am completely blowing some of this out of proportion. I'm going to try and finish out my grow and get along with her the best I can for now. If things look like they are going south I will just have to abort the grow and burn everything in my back yard.

 

[DutchLady27]

send it out here me and my hubby will hide you and your grow in our shed till everything blows over

 

[pandabear]

im just saying in my expiriance women are used to men fawning over them and they are good at manipulation to get what they want. it all starts with thier daddies. you know how dads are all soft when it comes to thier daughters. this is what makes them good at getting what they want


if your not careful a women will try to walk all over u in one way or another even if its mildly


its almost like they are testing you but they dont even know it


i mean men have some messed up characteristics too, just the nature of the sexes


men are insensitive a lot of the time (this post for example)

and men are inconsiderate, well most, not me

plus they are dumb when it comes to what a woman is secretly trying to get them to "decode" god forbid they actually just tell thier man what they want. they would rather for u to try to read thier minds

men well mostly they just want a lady around for sex and to take care of them like thier momies used to do

woman want a man to provide well for them and thier children and to dazzle them with nice places to go and fun things to do

all i like to do is smoke pot drink with my buddies play video games eat and have sex so u can see i had a lot of nagging i had to over come


but i finally have made it boys

 

[James Bond]

That is something that really upsets me is the "you should know" statement. It is not a bid deal though. When I first got my job I have now I was making enough money to pay rent, her car payment, our insurance, food, etc. and we had plenty left over for savings and fun. I told her she could quit her job and put more time towards studying because the college we are inrolled in is probably best known for its nursing program and it is hard. She was happy to do this, but we also agreed that she would have more time to do things around the house, such as laundry, cleaning, and she even said she could put more time towards cooking. I thought this was a fair trade she would be lessed stressed out and I would get more home cooked meals. This lasted two weeks then completely fell apart. I got dinner maybe 3 possibly 4 times and the house went to shit. I would come home and she was on her computer playing games or whatever and complaining cause there was no clean laundry, the house was a mess, and she was hungry.

send it out here me and my hubby will hide you and your grow in our shed till everything blows over

I really don't want to live in your shed, lol. Are you guys close to the midwest?

 

[James Bond]

I'm sorry to bash my wife like this, but if I don't get it out I'm going to explode.

 

[Seamaiden]

im just saying in my expiriance women are used to men fawning over them and they are good at manipulation to get what they want. it all starts with thier daddies. you know how dads are all soft when it comes to thier daughters. this is what makes them good at getting what they want

Then I would suggest that your experience is skewed by the women you're around. My own father had nothing but daughters, and not one of us was fawned over, nor were or are any of us a "daddy's girl" in any shape, way, or form. I was actually my dad's surrogate boy.

if your not careful a women will try to walk all over u in one way or another even if its mildly

Same could be said for men, and who would agree that it's alright to say most or all? I'm callin' bullshit, your experience is skewed by the people you're choosing to surround yourself with.

i mean men have some messed up characteristics too, just the nature of the sexes

How about saying, instead, that PEOPLE have some messed up characteristics? We're all fucked up in one way or the other, some of it has to do with our sex, some of it doesn't.

men are insensitive a lot of the time (this post for example)

and men are inconsiderate, well most, not me
plus they are dumb when it comes to what a woman is secretly trying to get them to "decode" god forbid they actually just tell thier man what they want. they would rather for u to try to read thier minds
men well mostly they just want a lady around for sex and to take care of them like thier momies used to do
woman want a man to provide well for them and thier children and to dazzle them with nice places to go and fun things to do
all i like to do is smoke pot drink with my buddies play video games eat and have sex so u can see i had a lot of nagging i had to over come
but i finally have made it boys

Um... yeah, ok. Glad that my experience isn't like that. Sounds like you've earned a lot of nagging.

 

[glass bong]

My wife is the most spiteful vindictive person I know. The only way I could even grow in the first place was by telling her I was going to sell it so I could pay for a trip to the Bahamas. Just so you guys know I didn't plan on dealing, but that was the only way she would approve. Our first anniversary was on the 7th this month. She works as like a nurse intern at a hospital and has to get up at 5am to go to work. We planned to go out Sunday the 6th and have a dinner and a few drinks, because she took the 7th off so she could be out late. Well the night, so I thought was going fine, but she had three BIG long island iced teas and was pretty drunk. Well we get in the car and I ask if she wants to go pick up some fun items to spice up the nigh, she used to enjoy this. She said yeh whatever, so we go and get some things. I would like to add I don't talk in the car, not much anyways. We get back in the car and start heading back to the house, well like usual my attention is on the road. I will speak when spoken to, but I don't start conversations in the car. She makes a comment, statement, and I don't reply. She gets a little irked and says why won't you talk to me. I reply with something like you just said whatever she said. She starts going on and on about me not communicating and how I treat her horrible bla bla. I am trying my best to get her calmed down, but she is just going and going. She starts screaming at me and telling me that there are many other guys that would love to have her and treat her better than I ever could. I can't hardly get a word in and when she stops to get my reply it just starts more yelling. We get to the highway that connects to the county road that leads to my house and at this point she is screaming at me saying she hates me, now I have never never told her I hated her the word is very strong. She is telling me that she is going to leave and i am the bigges mistake she ever made blaming me for all of her problems. At one point she is telling me to stop the car and get out because it is her car(it's in her name but I have made more payments on it than she has) I said your drunk you can't drive. She responded in a slurred drunken voice "I'm not that drunk and I fucking hate you". She starts to open the door with me going 65mph down the highway saying she is getting out of the car whether I stop or not, so I wrap my arm around her and tell her she is being stupid. She starts screaming at me again saying I'm hurting her and she starts screaming that she is going to yell for help. I pull the car over and try to calm her down, but it's not working. She gets out of the car and starts walking the oposit direction I'm headed in the car. I got out of the car and start yelling come back her and she yells back that she hates me. I stand there and yell for her to come back for another 5 mins. I realise how rediculous this is and get back in the car. I got back on the road and started heading to the house, wondering if it is even worth going back for her. I can't stand thinking about her all alone at midnight on the side of the highway and I turn around and go back to get her. I find her headed the same direction as we were originally headed. She gets in the car screaming at me again saying I left her to die and that she hates me and wants to leave me. I told her whatever I'm not fighting any more.

We get to the house and she goes and grabs her pillow and a blanket and goes to the other bedroom and comes out and yells at me some more and blames me for everything yet again.

There's more just my hands are cramping lol.

She wouldn't only be shooting herself in the foot, but she would not be able to get her nursing lisence either. She would move in with her parents or a friend before she would turn me though. She's not stupid.

holy fuck man are you marryed to lacy...sorry about your situation

 

[DutchLady27]

we live on the very east side of canada and our shed is really nice j/k i just really want a bubbles lol ..... but honestly most women by the time they are 22 relize if they want to be a wife or just a girlfriend my mom always taught me that a good wife cooks all meals cleans 90% of the house never ever sniff a mans clothes to see if you have to clean them thats thier job im not yet like my mom i dont clean as much as she did but i still do 75% of the cleaning and i do cook every meal except bbq the steaks my hubby rocks the bbq lol i lucked out on that one but most important is having the same taste when it comes to things you two like doing i got married young and had a child with my first husband i kept thinking things would get better and they never did so i too have one divorce under my belt but dont feel bad i think the first marriage is the one that gets you ready and helps you relize what you want from the next and now me and my new man have been together 3 years and this one feels right so i guess im trying to say follow your heart and you will end up happy

 

[James Bond]

holy fuck man are you marryed to lacy...sorry about your situation

No, I don't know who lacy is.


I do have my passport dutchlady, lol.

 

[pandabear]

That is something that really upsets me is the "you should know" statement. It is not a bid deal though. When I first got my job I have now I was making enough money to pay rent, her car payment, our insurance, food, etc. and we had plenty left over for savings and fun. I told her she could quit her job and put more time towards studying because the college we are inrolled in is probably best known for its nursing program and it is hard. She was happy to do this, but we also agreed that she would have more time to do things around the house, such as laundry, cleaning, and she even said she could put more time towards cooking. I thought this was a fair trade she would be lessed stressed out and I would get more home cooked meals. This lasted two weeks then completely fell apart. I got dinner maybe 3 possibly 4 times and the house went to shit. I would come home and she was on her computer playing games or whatever and complaining cause there was no clean laundry, the house was a mess, and she was hungry.




I really don't want to live in your shed, lol. Are you guys close to the midwest?

dog this was exactly my problem i wasnt gonna take that shit, i held on for a hot few months for the kids, but then i realized they dont need to see us arguing all the time. we almost split up till she started taking the celexa and now she is great, she is so happy now, before she was always depresed and just acting crazy nuts. not doing shit around the house,

i mean if your friends are scared of her you know it not just a run of the mill wife husband argument thing. does she have any phyciatric / depression probs in her familiy?

no doubt you are a great guy. dont let her make u think your not, shes playing u but i dont think she can help it, i think she is unhappy because of a chemical imbalance and when a womans not happy, nobodys happy

im actually one of the coolest guys around when it comes to being laid back, not tellin poeple what to do, i dont need nothin from nobody generally dont complain, but man since my wife was unbalanced i ended up having to finally snap. i would never complain about nothin, she would do somthing i found extreamly offensive and i just put a notch in my brain i never forget a wrong done to me, but i never mention it either, i just keep giveing second chances until, thats it, one day u will see the back of my ass leavin

 

[James Bond]

No, I don't think depression runs in her family. I know it runs rampent in mine though.

 

[Seamaiden]

ONE of you should be seeking therapy and counseling. Really. Especially if the only reason why your wife agreed to let you grow was that you might make an income. If you're in the midwest isn't that the riskiest track to take?

 

[James Bond]

ONE of you should be seeking therapy and counseling. Really. Especially if the only reason why your wife agreed to let you grow was that you might make an income. If you're in the midwest isn't that the riskiest track to take?

Yep, but I never planned on selling it really. I have a good friend that used to sell it. I was going to give him the option to take anything extra I had for whole sale if he wanted to distribute it. If he wanted some for personal use I was going to just give him some. I only have maybe 5 females, and for sure 3 because of pistils and taking two clones. I have noticed that my wife has been trying to change me and minipulate things. I didn't notice it untill recently. She wants me to dress a certain way, she doesn't want me to wear earrings, she wants me to cut my hair a certain way, and on and on. These things wouldn't bother me, but she becomes almost enraged if I don't comply with her thoughts of how I should do these things. I try to look some what professional, I have to because of my job. Here is something that recently happened that kinda got under my skin. My bosses son and daugher-in-law just had a baby. They were having a baby shower at the church we attend. I didn't want to go because I am really not into baby showers and women enjoy them more so then men. I told her I wasn't going multiple times, the church is close to my office so I said I would go take care of some work and she could call when it was done. She got my boss' wife and told her that I was thinking about not coming. My boss' wife said that it was for the men too and that I needed to come. The last thing I wanted to do was upset my boss' wife, because I am doing very well with him and I have no problems.