What Should I Do About IOP?

I recently went through a nasty depression. It lead to hospitalization and now IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program). The medication my psychiatrist put me on is really messing up the chemicals in my head. I feel out of touch with reality and not in a good way. My body acted up today. My pupils became dilated and everything became overwhelming. I couldn't absorb all of the colors and sounds. The only thing that helped calm me down and bring me to a familiar plane of awareness was marijuana. The IOP's clinician assigned to me does not want me smoking. I have to tell her or the she will find out eventually (the program tests for drug usage).

My parents have never supported my choice to smoke marijuana and do not want me to use it while on all of the medication, but they cannot possibly understand the feeling I get when high. Both of my parents have never smoked weed before. They do not realize how much I have spiritually and philosophically grown thanks to marijuana. The inspiration it provides helps me write, which is very important since I major in English.

I had depression and suicidal thoughts long before I started using marijuana. I truly think it has helped me cope with life.

How do I go about telling my clinician? I don't feel like IOP is helping me at all. Has anyone been through intensive outpatient treatment? Can I simply leave the group, or do I have to be discharged?

Tell the doctors about that episode due to the medication. That sounds similar to drug induced schizophrenia and there could be long term affects if you continue to use that medication. Unfortunately you will need to cut back on the smoke or they will just blame that and not change anything regarding your care.