Unmanageable but hoping for the best

There's so many things I wanted to keep up with, unfortunately I found out I'm lazy, careless and not very bright. I'm not giving up but I'm failing to find the joy and satisfaction in something I have always thought I loved. Hopefully I can recover the money spent on equipment so it won't be a total loss, my time being the least valuable variable. I envy those of you with both the ability and competency to grow amazing plants.

? Looks like you're doing a ok to me especially for a new grower. I think you just need to work on yourself some.

Your plants look good.. nice and healthy looking..

Those plants look good!

I think you’re being a bit hard on yourself lol.

Plant health looks decent? If anything they look like they could use more light...the node spacing is pretty wide.

Plants look good to me. not seeing why you feel discouraged. As mentioned above, more light wouldn't hurt, but still, nice for a first attempt!

I mean, I get it if you don't love growing. Its not something that everyone likes to do. I like the tasking, development and the inevitable troubleshooting as well as the 'systems tweaking' aspect of trying to get your setup, your individual plants and grow to a refined level of success.

BenGman said:

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I wanna go back in a chroma

Hieronymus said:

I wanna go back in a chroma

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Chroma?

Dont give up now, things are just starting to get interesting.

They need you and are showing you what they can do. They look good to me. I see no failure there. They will reward you for your love. Hell they'll reward you even if you find no joy in raising them.

Also the "competency" of other growers you spoke of didn't fall from the sky. It came by way of mistakes made, lessons learned, unforseen speed bumps along the way, etc. Keep things simple as possible.

Some people

Fishmon said:

Also the "competency" of other growers you spoke of didn't fall from the sky. It came by way of mistakes made, lessons learned, unforseen speed bumps along the way, etc. Keep things simple as possible.

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Some have the self-discipline, emotional availability and an education however acquired, I agree. I don't want to invalidate you or the hard work you've put in. That being said I'm still deciding whether giving up on everything is the best course of action for myself.

Some of my pistils are, I don't know prematurely browning? everything else seems ok.

Your plants look lush and healthy, what do you think, another month and they will be finished?

I think my mood is leveling off here I'm trying not to be a fatalist, I can't seem to comprehend what I read like comprehend and retain... I'm hoping that I am just going to be able to provide a luxury for myself that I won't have to keep spending money on plus tax plus extra if it's in food form. My setup is the best for what I paid for it. Like I low balled them and they accepted. I'm still figuring out a bunch of things, electrical safety, air circulation, proper watering practices, feeding,, humidity, lights there's a never ending amount of knowledge and I'm upset that I can't do this or anything in life perfectly. I've been so stressed I haven't smoked in the last five days not a puff. Thanks for the encouragement despite my manic bullshit, criticism is welcome as well. Seeds were germinated in a Ziploc with damp paper towels until they popped then were put into seedling starter soil like June 16th into red solo cups. It gets a little distorted time wise, they spent a little while under a regular CFL shop light in a southern facing window. Then I received the grow tent kit but there was poor communication on what I had ordered and through reading about CFM and airflow I received the fan intended for the size tent I got which was far bigger than I needed but I'm obese so the extra room is ok. So after fixing the heat problem, humidity and proper airflow I still have no idea what I'm doing. I am hopping for the best. I have no idea the strain because despite my best efforts I lost the packaging. Like Capt starfighter x runtz? I'm not sure they are feminized seed that I know the company logo was like women from the 40s but they were replaced with dope buds. I did have an almost successful outdoor grow last year just bag see grew trees but got rot and it spreads quick.