akafatal
Member
this is just the begining , this is part of it
the way of this world never changes - misa
bells are ringing, sound screaming . Its a carnival and I is us wants ,now tell me how this story is to be told.Now i am awake ,this was dream 12 in my journal . I had this belief that dreams are guides to know yourself."THE FOODS READY" my mother screaming which I rather not define here but , In this home is a complete family .I am on a 2 year study break .
nights are the same you know , I always had this feeling that nights were special , the normal life ends at night . I never sleep at night . its friends and then more friends , the day goes by and its night again . This was my routine of pissing on time while reading pages after pages on wikipedia about sereal killers .
this is our new home . Father got a new job with new cars and new home , how normal . I always wondered when people went to their new homes or drive their brand new car ,they always carry this excitement about whats gonna be you understand me . I mean ok its a thing , for heavens hymns its a thing . I hate this dividing ruler i call money . I always felt different about different people and i hated this because as much as i wanted to become like them I always failed . I realised that life is something that does'nt belong to anybody but once a person comes to understand it , he no longer has this world .
Im on pills . Yah i did pills for 3 months . 80 pills a day , combination of xanax valium and lexotanil . I think now although i don't pretty much remember anything but those were dreams that had everything as real as this world . I found love , i saw people in need , i saw brutality , i saw a world that I came to realise I created.
Next morning , next day , next fucking year . Bright shining sun , its hot and its hash . I started smoking after quitting pills . Yah so this was just something that made clock run faster . "i should die" this goes on my head these days . i have to die i just dont know why but this is the thing i am supposed to do , so i will . Before I want to hear for once , for the last time the voice that comes from heaven ....
chapter one :
"in a troubled world" jack would often say" people choose the path of destruction . Me and Jack first became known to each other in the most random way and He was so good with words i sometimes wondered if i can find any false facts . He always asked me to turn the webcam on , in that way he said part of something was visible to him . The times we shared , he was always high on pills and in that intoxication he sometimes talked in peotic manner about how much meaning I hold to him . We usually talked about random things and situations , but occasionally he would ask me about my life , questions like what stops us from doing things , and how this pack of sheeps surrounding her would one day do to her . Jack was a free soul , he was somebody who had questions that even our knowledge couldnt answer . We usually had discussions about different aspects of mortality and its surroundings but jack always had an answer for every question thrown at him . His pills are off the chart . 80 to 100 pills each day .
She must be worried about me , or not . Not that i dont care but my feelings that this world gives is empty . I care none about your wars and your money and your lust anymore . The more I see I always see empty shadows walking beside me on streets wearing their normal clothes and living their normal lives . Its a mechanical age so i guess adopting some of their customs doesnt change anything ,right?
we live to live our dreams
slowly n truly we live to sleep
all this life we live to leap
but the chains r just to deep
new thoughts, new ideas
they are all too fragile
all these dreams r just an illusion
this life we live is just a dream
sometimes it got harder to remember even the months that passed by me . Im jack the sleeping man . Days are going beside me , but I am still . Mess i have created they accuse me of . yes i know , my guilt will always be with me , but this is how i come to end . Death doesnt happen once , for me I have lived my many deaths .
the way of this world never changes - misa
bells are ringing, sound screaming . Its a carnival and I is us wants ,now tell me how this story is to be told.Now i am awake ,this was dream 12 in my journal . I had this belief that dreams are guides to know yourself."THE FOODS READY" my mother screaming which I rather not define here but , In this home is a complete family .I am on a 2 year study break .
nights are the same you know , I always had this feeling that nights were special , the normal life ends at night . I never sleep at night . its friends and then more friends , the day goes by and its night again . This was my routine of pissing on time while reading pages after pages on wikipedia about sereal killers .
this is our new home . Father got a new job with new cars and new home , how normal . I always wondered when people went to their new homes or drive their brand new car ,they always carry this excitement about whats gonna be you understand me . I mean ok its a thing , for heavens hymns its a thing . I hate this dividing ruler i call money . I always felt different about different people and i hated this because as much as i wanted to become like them I always failed . I realised that life is something that does'nt belong to anybody but once a person comes to understand it , he no longer has this world .
Im on pills . Yah i did pills for 3 months . 80 pills a day , combination of xanax valium and lexotanil . I think now although i don't pretty much remember anything but those were dreams that had everything as real as this world . I found love , i saw people in need , i saw brutality , i saw a world that I came to realise I created.
Next morning , next day , next fucking year . Bright shining sun , its hot and its hash . I started smoking after quitting pills . Yah so this was just something that made clock run faster . "i should die" this goes on my head these days . i have to die i just dont know why but this is the thing i am supposed to do , so i will . Before I want to hear for once , for the last time the voice that comes from heaven ....
chapter one :
"in a troubled world" jack would often say" people choose the path of destruction . Me and Jack first became known to each other in the most random way and He was so good with words i sometimes wondered if i can find any false facts . He always asked me to turn the webcam on , in that way he said part of something was visible to him . The times we shared , he was always high on pills and in that intoxication he sometimes talked in peotic manner about how much meaning I hold to him . We usually talked about random things and situations , but occasionally he would ask me about my life , questions like what stops us from doing things , and how this pack of sheeps surrounding her would one day do to her . Jack was a free soul , he was somebody who had questions that even our knowledge couldnt answer . We usually had discussions about different aspects of mortality and its surroundings but jack always had an answer for every question thrown at him . His pills are off the chart . 80 to 100 pills each day .
She must be worried about me , or not . Not that i dont care but my feelings that this world gives is empty . I care none about your wars and your money and your lust anymore . The more I see I always see empty shadows walking beside me on streets wearing their normal clothes and living their normal lives . Its a mechanical age so i guess adopting some of their customs doesnt change anything ,right?
we live to live our dreams
slowly n truly we live to sleep
all this life we live to leap
but the chains r just to deep
new thoughts, new ideas
they are all too fragile
all these dreams r just an illusion
this life we live is just a dream
sometimes it got harder to remember even the months that passed by me . Im jack the sleeping man . Days are going beside me , but I am still . Mess i have created they accuse me of . yes i know , my guilt will always be with me , but this is how i come to end . Death doesnt happen once , for me I have lived my many deaths .