THE FIGURELLI CRIME FAMILIES CRIMINAL EXPLOITS part I

LetsGetCritical

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Man Crashes Truck Into Adult Store, Steals $800 Sex Toy In Ohio
Posted: 08/25/2011 1:57 pm EDT Updated: 10/25/2011 5:12 am EDT
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Police are looking for a man who had a breakthrough in his sex life.
Cops in Ohio are trying to track down a thief who stole a semi-truck, crashed it into an Adultmart in Lorain County early Monday morning and escaped with an $800 sex toy.
The crook stole the red Volvo cab from a business in Elyria and drove it into the sex shop at around 2 a.m., WOIO reports.

After plowing through the store's backdoor, the perp took a "life-like masturbator complete with female genitalia with legs and buttocks," the station notes.
Officers spotted the semi-truck after the heist, but the crook -- described as a white man wearing a blue hooded sweatshirt over a red shirt -- managed to escape on foot, The Morning Journal reports.
Police believe he must have stashed the costly sex toy somewhere after the robbery.
Strangely enough, the Adultmart was the scene of a similar crime in 2009 in which a perp drove a vehicle into the shop and snatched a sex toy.
Police have declined to release surveillance video of the recent incident in an attempt to discourage copycat crimes, according to a WOIO video (below).
Calls to the police department were not returned by Huffington Post deadlines.
 
PSA: The figgurelli turf is hardened and easy to spot. Women are safe in these areas because the figgurelli don't fuck with women. Men shouldn't walk around alone in these areas, the figgurelli are known to be gang bangers. Part of their initiation process is a 30 min screw in where the older members of the group "screw" the new members into the gang.

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Figurelli crime family

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Fartino "Tommy" Figurelli. The boss the family is named after.

The Figurelli crime family (pronounced fig-your-relly) is one of the "Five Pseudo Mafia Sex Toy and Panty Stealing Mafia Families" that dominates organized petty panty and sex toy stealing activities in New York City, United States, within the nationwide criminal phenomenon known as the Pseudo Mafia (or Pseudo Cosa Nostra).
 
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Figurelli crime family

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Fartino "Tommy" Figurelli. The boss the family is named after.

The Figurelli crime family (pronounced fig-your-relly) is one of the "Five Pseudo Mafia Sex Toy and Panty Stealing Mafia Families" that dominates organized petty panty and sex toy stealing activities in New York City, United States, within the nationwide criminal phenomenon known as the Pseudo Mafia (or Pseudo Cosa Nostra).


His appearance may have changed a bit. It's been years since "Tommy" has made a public appearance. In June of 2001 he left the Sanfransico area after he was attacked by a bear.

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Recent reports suggest Tommy may have altered his appearance.

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Giant Purple Dildo-Wielding Wendy's Robber Nabbed: Cops
The Plainfield man 'stuck up' the Wendy’s on Center Street with a dildo but didn’t get any cash, police said.
By Joseph Hosey (Patch Staff) June 26, 2015
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A Plainfield man who menaced a Wendy’s manager with a giant purple dildo from his trousers was captured and jailed Friday.

Junior Figurelli, 28, was charged with 'sticking it up' the Center Street Wendy’s Wednesday afternoon.

Figurelli pulled a giant dildo from his pants and demanded money from the manager after claiming there was flies in his meal, police said. The manager reportedly screamed, told Figurelli he had no cash and threatened to call the cops.

Figurelli then jumped the counter and tried to penetrate the managers anus with the dildo before leaving empty-handed but was caught on surveillance video making his exit.

“He may as well left his contact details, giant purple dildos and little facial tattoo crosses are Figurelli trademarks” a police source said of the surveillance footage.
 
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