Solo08
Well-Known Member
i wish i was tokin but unfortunetly i live in the worst area ever and weed costs an arm and a leg and i run out of body parts all the time lol. newayz i been tryin to grow but sumthin always screws it up. mainly because i live in rental apartments and cant grow how id like to and my plants keep dying. not sure if anyones ever heard of the withdraw symptoms from weed and i know their rare but after a day of not smoking im nauseas for a day and angry about nothing the next and i can deal with it but...well id rather be blazed so the first oppurtunity i get to catch a high im on it. i woulnt be on here right now actually if i was high. probably be playin the new maps on cod mw2 or sumthin. i just wanted to get on here and bitch really. i hate where i live. theres nothing to do but get high and drunk and work. actually the closest entertainment i got to home are like 4 bars all on the same block. well i got a cyst in my stomach now and the doctor says "keep drinking limits low so this dont get serious". well i listened and only drinking a 6 pk every week or 2 when i cant get blazed. i buy my weed from friends. well heres another problem. weed is scarce and ppl i thought were friends or they may actually be friends but its confusing when the business half of things gets mixed up with friendships. i dont wanna sound like a fiend to my friends but over time i found out what their paying for the shit their sellin me and well lets just say their payin 160 US for an oz and sellin it to me for 220 for mids. i dont think thats fair so like anyone in my situation i stopped buying shit from them. well i got 1 more connect left and i know how it works around here. ppl sell shit for a few months then stop doing it with paranoid excuses like "i been gettin ppl calling me and hangin up" or some dumb shit and eventually ill be on the search for someone to get shit from again. its gotten to the point where ive only got 2 options left...quit weed or grow it. neither i see as an option right now although i continue to try to think of different ways to do one or the other just neither seems possible. no lie i dream of sticky nugz and a few times a year im lucky enough to live that dream but weed is becoming not worth it. i mean i been smokin for 2 years now with no more then a 2 wks break which was a yr ago. actually i probablly been high every day since last november except for 2-3 days every 2-4 wks. just lately the weed been so shitty i just been rollin blunts. well an 8th might cost 25 for shwag and 30-35 for mids around here and thats what 3 blunts? so that lasts a day and a half if im lucky and thats just not worth it. i been buyin larger amounts of dirt to get a cheaper price so i been gettin ozs of decent shwag for 120. thats pretty good around here but its brick and after my last oz i just dont want the shit anymore. i got a max tolernce of some of the growers in here. like a 2 hr high max unless its some kill then it might last 3 hrs and i feel im fully functional on any type of weed i get. its just routine for me now. i feel i use weed for many reasons hobby and medicinal. actually i remember who i was 2 yrs ago when i didnt smoke weed and im not even considering going back. i was an alcoholic who was just ready to give up on life. weed over the past few years i felt has helped teach me who i am and why my life is important to me. i feel when im high i see the world somewhat as i did as a kid and it gives me the motivation i need in life to continue moving forward. without weed i can remember who i was before weed and just feel i cant be anything i want to be without it. actually every few months i can give you details of the progress ive made in my life over all the time i been gettin high. i got alot of depression/anxiety problems or whatever ppl want to call it...i see psychiatrists but really i felt i made the most progress on my own with weed. psychiatrists havent done anything really except lead me to new ideas in solving my issues and prescribing me meds that i think are helping but only with the mixture of weed. i just got on here thinkin maybe someone in here can relate to what i might be goin through. i know weed isnt to commonly used for depression professionaly but i feel so strongly about its benefits for my depression that i dont see it as a possibility to quit. im desperate for some answers i guess and looking for advice wherever i can find it.
