Mama's a hypocrite. what should I do?

SORRY FOR AN EXTREMELY LONG POST, I JUST HAD A LOT ON MY MIND ABOUT THIS. I UNDERSTAND IF NONE OF YOU READ THIS AND LEAVE THIS THREAD TO DIE.


well here's the situation at hand in basic terms. my mom smokes pot, knows that I smoke pot, but is mad that i smoke pot.

in the long complicated story that I more or less told in another thread, here's how it goes:

I've been smoking for about 4 months now only, so I'm really just kinda getting into it. My mom has been smoking for at least...32 years now (oh yeah, and just before I start all of this, I still live with my parents for I have another year of highschool to go through. I got held back a year haha). My mom found out I smoke through my friend in a roundabout way after the first few times I've smoked, and she was pretty cool with it. We talked about it and she told me her smoking habits and of my dads smoking habits....until he whitied and he vowed never to smoke again. It was all good. Me and my parents in a restaurant, talking about weed. I even explained to her what a grav is. She didn't understand until me and my dad explained, at which my mom just said that she'd rather just stick with joints or a bat and dugout as opposed to a bong or something like that. All was good. I told her that I would keep it at a minimum and not get too overboard with it.

Well after that, she caught me and my friends after the act by walking in my pot-smelling room with me and my friend giggling while my other friend that doesn't smoke is sitting there playing Rock Band or something lol. She seemed pretty cool about it even after that. After this though, I decided I would actually grow, so I did that. Well she found out and told me to get rid of it. So it moved it to a different location in the house. She found it again, and now it's ouside (I don't really expect it to do anything much out there, it doesn't look good AT ALL). After this, she seemed a little peeved about me smoking. She kept reminding me to not over do it and I assured her I wouldn't. Well shortly after, she found that I left an RIU window open on the computer and she snooped about on it, and read damn near every post I have posted on here, including my short-lived grow journal (she's very snoopy with my personal life. I left open a myspace window on MY computer in MY room and she read all my private messages and whatnot of me telling my friends about some stuff that I really didn't want my parents to know [like when I lost my virginity(sorry) a few years ago and other misc. stuff that I would NEVER tell my parents]. It's rather annoying). My mom wonders why I don't talk to her and why I lie to her so much, she's a spy and I can't trust her anymore. It's gotten to the point where I actually do highly dislike my own mother, and it's horrible.

But getting back on track, she read everything I said on RIU and I got in an argument that I should've won, but my parents don't get the concept of privacy. They think that it's fair game if I leave a window open on the computer, and they think that they can snoop around on it as much as they want. I can't win an argument with my mom without my dad butting in and telling me not to yell at my mother or telling me he's gonna beat the shit out of me. I tried telling my mom in a nice calm voice that I only smoke once every two weeks, but she still believes that I'm some sort of pothead. She now doesn't want my smoking at all anymore because she thinks that it will ruin my life. Again, I told her that I only smoke every now and again and that I won't pot take over my life like it has with some of my friends (no offense to some of you?). All I can ever do is sit there and listen to my parents bicker at me while I'm sitting there freaking out in my mind, wanting to eat my own thumb because I can't have a say in anything that they say about MY decision of smoking pot.

yes, it's true that I should respect their opinions since they're my parents, but my mom smokes pot. until she stops smoking pot herself, I'm not stopping myself until I move out.

and one other thing with my mom snooping around about my personal life, I have a suspicion that she made her own account on here to spy on me because she made a threat that she would do something if she sees that I put another post on here. I can't be sure though, she hasn't said anything to me yet though. So if I dissapear, it's my mom to blame. I've been ultra-super careful about leaving windows up after I'm done using the computer.

and I appologize, I know that all this sounds like teenager crybaby bullshit, but I can't handle it and I just need some suggestions about what I should do about this, it's getting too out of hand.

Make her listen to the Pot by Tool. only kidding, though it is about hypocrosy.

snooping 'rents is the worst. You need to try and calmly and intelligently explain how you feel she is being both hypercritical(you aren't pushing, you aren't handling large felonious amounts) and hypocritical(she hersrlf probably smoke more habitually than you at this point)

And if my father ever threatened to kick my ass I would tell him to go ahead, but to expect a call from child services(under18 ) or the police(over18 ). No parent should threaten to beat their children, thats straight fucked up abuse and is illegal just like this silly herb you and your 'rents are squabbling over.

you most likely fucked up when you started growing.. i think you have been on this site long enough to know not to grow in your parents house unless you ask them and they are 100% down.
she probably feels like her privacy and trust have been invaded by you bringing your friends over to smoke pot in her home and then you started growing? i will never give advice to someone wanting to know about hiding grows from their parents or making "stealth ops". and this is the reason why.

i would say growing is maybe "going overboard" if you have just started smoking and you are 18 or whatever

the absolute least you could have done is asked her and told her you would give her a cut for the +electrical bill

el shaggy said:

Make her listen to the Pot by Tool. only kidding, though it is about hypocrosy.

snooping 'rents is the worst. You need to try and calmly and intelligently explain how you feel she is being both hypercritical(you aren't pushing, you aren't handling large felonious amounts) and hypocritical(she hersrlf probably smoke more habitually than you at this point)

And if my father ever threatened to kick my ass I would tell him to go ahead, but to expect a call from child services(under18 ) or the police(over18 ). No parent should threaten to beat their children, thats straight fucked up abuse and is illegal just like this silly herb you and your 'rents are squabbling over.

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thats some lame shit man. parents should be able to beat their kids asses when they step out of line,, now kids run free thinking they can do whatever they want. you dumb shits dont realise who works their ass off to put food on the table and a roof over your head at the least. you should show some fucking respect and obey their rules and move out if you have a problem with them.

ccodiane said:

I'm voting for McCain.... 08-26-2008
09:58 AM Never 1 Insulted Other Member(s) potroast

Chuckbane's thread. DO... 08-26-2008
09:49 AM Never 1 Insulted Other Member(s) potroast

Health Care 01-28-2008
07:49 AM Reversed 1 Insulted Other Member(s)

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.........................

chuckbane said:

you most likely fucked up when you started growing.. I think you have been on this site long enough to know not to grow in your parents house unless you ask them and they are 100% down.
She probably feels like her privacy and trust have been invaded by you bringing your friends over to smoke pot in her home and then you started growing? I will never give advice to someone wanting to know about hiding grows from their parents or making "stealth ops". And this is the reason why.

The absolute least you could have done is asked her and told her you would give her a cut for the +electrical bill

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word bitch!!!!

chuckbane said:

thats some lame shit man. parents should be able to beat their kids asses when they step out of line,, now kids run free thinking they can do whatever they want. you dumb shits dont realise who works their ass off to put food on the table and a roof over your head at the least. you should show some fucking respect and obey their rules and move out if you have a problem with them.

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YEAH man!!!

of course you love that shit ccodiane

For starters quit growing on her property until everyone is cool with it before someone gets arrested or kicked out or loses the house. Password lock your computer, your phone, get a new alias for RIU and anything else you feel has been compromised and change all passwords if you want. Set firefox to clear your private data everytime you close it. Hide anything else you dont want found or confiscated.

I can speak from personal experience here from nosy parents and a former ex gf snooping through my things, including my computer and phone. You don't really want them intercepting your messages from your women or friends you party with, other activities and personal shit do you? Or worse yet have them send negative responses to these people over the net that could cause problems for you... Even if you dont have these issues, better to be safe and secure, than caught.

Edit: Yeah, she probably wont trust you now from attempting to hide grow's on her property and being so new to smoking and bringing all your friends in the house to smoke and likely showing off and posting that grow and anything else I am forgetting here. Can't say I blame her though, most people would be quite angry and naturally be suspicious and start snooping around to see what else is going on, before the ship sinks. Protect your privacy though, and don't do shit that will implicate others without them knowing. Peace.

el shaggy said:

Make her listen to the Pot by Tool. only kidding, though it is about hypocrosy.

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great song.


anyway, maybe if u want some respect and privacy then u should pay some rent or help out. might sound like im on ur parents side but if ur growing and using their elec, water etc then u should pay ur way. or help around the house to pay them instead of cash.

i personally close all my pc windows except normal ones when i leave the computer. also, make sure ur screen saver is set to ask for a password. at least then if u get distracted for X amount of minutes u wont have to worry about it.

No, beating a child will only continue a cycle of hate and violence. Spankings or a quick smack are a different story. It makes me sick to my stomach that you guys can think child abuse is A-OKAY. Beating a child is one step below raping a child in my book, its the same fucking boat in terms of psychological damage, exploiting power over the weak is always wrong.

I also was never a little fuck-wad piece of shit kid, I knew my place. I've been working my own ass off since 15.

I understand all of your views about this. especially you chuckbane. I understand how much of a risk it is and how shitty if was of me to grow on my parents' property withough their knowing. I also understand that they shouldn't respect me if I don't respect them. I know it didn't seem like that in my original post. but my mom invading my privacy isn't anything recent so why should I respect her? as for the threats from my dad....if he actually does follow through, I'll kinda expect it. I'll honestly say that I deserve a swift kick in the ass as of now. I have been getting pretty out of hand. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make my dad look like the bad guy, I really didn't, he's one of the coolest cats I know and if he does rough me up a bit, I'll just respect him more because he wouldn't be like every other parent who wipes their kids' ass all their life.

I know I'm kinda contradicting myself here by giving you all a sob story and then being all "well you know, this, that, and that, and this, and kiss ass kiss ass kiss ass" but after reading some of your responses, I just feel like a jerk asking for help when I obviously don't deserve it. What respect do I deserve from you guys for poring my heart out to all of you? none, that's how much. again, I'm sorry for doing this, no one needs to read about me bitching and moaning about my bullshit. I should've thought about what I was saying before I posted

and ChuckBane....I'm especially sorry for wasting your time....

thats part of growing up. my mum used to come into my room all the time as well and annoy me. didnt really have any privacy.

guess thats just part of growing up under someone elses roof. now i live on my own with my girl in our house. living on ur own is cool but u realise how much hard work it is, how stressed u get and how many chores u have to do.

u have it easy. if i was u, id just give the plant to a friend or somethin and just buy bags for awhile until u have ur own place.

........ get ya own place... do ya own things

If ya mums watching, tell her my mums the same... sometimes we have huge disc. that dont even make sense... When its all about her fear of loosing you... Ya understand ^^

A mothers love to a son is like no other love.. I think once u break that special thing.... Well she did that to you by reading your msgs and u by growing even after she told you not to ^^

.... So basicly you should booth sit down apriciate that your mum knows so much about you, maybe she's like hell yeah my sons a pretty cool guy... just dont want him to go down this road of growing weed at such an age...


hehehehe

peace..

dunno if that made any sense.. but try and restart ya things.... tell her growing was a stupid idea in her house without permission.

Ask her when she smokes if ya maybe could smoke with her. Then sponge off a smoke fo later

haha

^^

if I got my own place, I'd be fucked because I wouldn't have anyone to wake me up in the mornings lol.

as for giving my plant to someone, I already have it taken care of. I stuck it out in the woods and hoped for the best. I'm pretty sure it's either been eaten, or it has wilted up and died. it was doing pretty shitty anyway. that's karma for ya. grow in your parents' house and it shall die...I deserved it anyway.

I just don't appreciate how well I'm treated here. I'd be lost without muh parents, I just don't realize it yet. I know I'm still a teenager that wants to move out and be rid of my parents, and the fact that I'm almost at that point is making me more excited and riled up. I'm just thinking about myself and not how my mom will feel. fuck, I'm not even thinking about that now. I know the feeling will come one day down the road where I'll just say to myself "why'd I ever want to leave my parents" but I just don't fully understand that feeling yet and how selfish it is of me. I know I'm not right, but only reason I could ever imagine why I want my own place is because I think that I'll be free and that I can do anything I've ever wanted to do. It'll just be me unwinding for a little while...I think you guys get the point, you went through it already lol. I'm probably extremely wrong though haha.

but anyway, I left out one last thing, and it's about me smoking in the house. it's not like how you guys make it out to be, where I invite people over just to smoke, it's more like people come over, they ask if I have anything and if I do and my parents are out, or they're preoccupied with a friend of theirs out in the living room or outside or something, we smoke then. I don't really smoke when the parents are around though, but my mom does smoke with some of her friends either when she's about to go out to a show or, is just hanging out with one of her freinds when I'm home. I know, I've caught them before lol. usaully when I smoke though, it's outside and I sneak a water bottle to make a steamroller and a socket outside or I roll a couple joints for me and my friend. smoking outside is better anyway though in my opinion....

DWR said:

but try and restart ya things.... tell her growing was a stupid idea in her house without permission.

Ask her when she smokes if ya maybe could smoke with her. Then sponge off a smoke fo later

haha

^^

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eeh, I don't really want to talk to her as of now. I don't trust her, she doesn't trust me. it's easier to lose trust than it is to gain it. I lost trust in her and she lost it in me. I also don't hve much respect for her for other personal reasons that don't have to do anything with pot, but with a friend of mine...it's gonna be hard to respect/trust her again after some of the shit she's pulled....but she's just a loving mother...

It's cool dude. Sometimes you just need to vent. At least you are being adult and admitting you were wrong... even though your fighting it with every fiber of your being.

You clearly have stated that you already know you were in the wrong on this one and were the first to break trust. But you still seem to have issues with her going through your stuff. Unfortunatly, or fortunatly, that's your parent's job. Even when you're 18. Especially when you're 18 and still living at home.

HoppusTheCaveman said:

eeh, I don't really want to talk to her as of now. I don't trust her, she doesn't trust me. it's easier to lose trust than it is to gain it. I lost trust in her and she lost it in me. I also don't hve much respect for her for other personal reasons that don't have to do anything with pot, but with a friend of mine...it's gonna be hard to respect/trust her again after some of the shit she's pulled....but she's just a loving mother...

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But u typed before that u wont have anyone to wake up to ?

lol, either get ya mind in the right place son... or get ya own place and do what ya want !




I cant wait to be a dad

DWR said:

But u typed before that u wont have anyone to wake up to ?

lol, either get ya mind in the right place son... or get ya own place and do what ya want !




I cant wait to be a dad

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I know...I just can't really make up my own mind haha. I'll talk to mi madre when I get in that comfortable zone y'know?