grow room checklist? Any help?

Essentially what i need is a mentor of sorts. I got the basics down ie seedling, flowering and vegetative knowledge. I also have a basic idea of the size and wattage of my grow room. I'm trying to build something small. I want to do a 4x4 with a 400w hps or mh. I hear hps is better because it mimics the "harvest period" for my plant.

the grow room just needs to be enough for personal use. I'm asking for help because I have a very sick wife... and although I cannot smoke I enjoy these two things: everything cannabis related and seeing my wife NOT in pain.

So with that being said I need help on better understanding how to wire my box as to not burn down my home, what kind of fan and ventilation setup would be best. (like how to route it) I know that a filter will be needed. And i need to know about the best soil to use. If there are any experienced growers out there who would be willing to guide me through my first growing adventure I would appreciate it greatly and I will be sure to keep a detailed journal going into specifics of the plant's health and anything else. Thanks all! I'll be checking this thread very often for responses. Speed is really important here... I'd rather grow than buy.

i can tell you dont have it down.. as you would have instinctively said: seedling THEN veg THEN flower. im only kidding. hah im so funny. Man you need to do alot of research still.. The best soil you can buy for your dollars worth is Fox Farms Ocean Forest.. 20$ a huge bag.. its pre PH measured and cool stuff. Thats my input.
+reps

awesome, thanks dude! any recommendations on pesticides?