Another Classic Joke!

alright, so this couple is on there honeymoon in aruba(or not) when they hear what sounds like a bottle that just shattered on the ground. they look and see a man about 30 feet away. he slowly approaches. He says, you have just awaken me from my slumber, so what are your desires. I shall grant you each 3 wishes. Ecstaticly the woman says, i want $10 million dollars, a brand new mansion, and a ferarri! The "genie" says, granted! All those things will be there when you return home. The husband says. Fuck that, I want $20 million dollars, 3 lamborginis, and ten wives. The "genie" responds granted, when you return home these things shall be there awaiting you. The wife is pissed that he wished for 10 new wives. meanwhile the "genie" pulls the man aside. "Hey, since i granted you all those wishes, you think i could have sex with your wife?" The husband thinks about it for a minute. The "genie" says come on, you got 10 new wives at home waiting for you! Right after, the husband is like oh fuck yeah go ahead! The husband tells his wife whats going to happen and she agrees since she is already pissed that he wished for more wives. So the "genie" and the wife go somewhere nice and quiet and commence to fucking. After there done, the "genie" lights a cigarette and hits it once and asks, "So how old is your husband?" He's 42 she responds. "And he still believes in genies?" the man asks!

This ain't a classic, yet.

The pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired immediately his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check for $720,000.

The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his up-stretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.
When the third general, a grizzled old Marine General, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man: "From the tip of my penis to my testicles."
The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The Marine general insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring.
The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop 'em. He did.The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back.
"My God" he said, "Where are your testicles?"
"Vietnam." the general replied.

ROFL! now thats funny!

Not to the Marine!!!

HAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAHAHA!!!! Holy shit man that made me laugh