Oh, and about Royce White. I have a really hard time with the whole thing. Because I think there is something to manning up and getting on with your business. However I've also been completely crippled with anxiety... like crazy shit where I can't go to work and stuff. It was also related to physical problems going on... but they were kinda linked. Anyways, I know what it's like to be at the house, pacing back and forth thinking I can't go to work, as I'm supposed to be leaving for work right then. Wife's like "Why can't you go to work?" And my answers don't make any sense, it's just crazyness up in your head like the world is caving in.
I feel like I'm 'better' now, whatever that means, I kick my own ass sometimes, and let others do it for me as well. DST is always good for that. Thanks bru.
But for real I sometimes I feel an inch away from completely breaking down and being worthless.
Anyways, I don't really know what dudes specific deal is. I guess the travel really isn't a problem, the media just keeps pumping it. It's more about how to handle mental situations, like how they handle physical illness. He's not saying they are the same thing. He's saying there is a protocol for dealing with physical injuries, like a regular process when things happen, and there is nothing like that with mental stuff. Just a vague few sentences.
Shit, I can acutally really relate to this part regarding work and mental issues. When I was 21 or 22? I had a breakdown at work, like full blown, looney bin breakdown. It's only happened the once. Shit was really bad. Anyways, I couldn't work because I was fucked up. They send me papers for disability and there is a little check box, did this happen at work, yes or no. I said yes, cuz I was at work. Didn't realize that meant everything went over to Workers Comp. Me and Duchie will agree... Fuck workers comp people. Evil bastards. I didn't want their money, I wasn't trying to cheat the system, but they sure fucking treated me like I was. Sending private investigators to my house and following me, trying to get me to admit I was faking it all for money.
I was like if I had a broken arm yall wouldn't ask me a fucking thing. But because I broke my brain or whatever I'm cheating shit.
And that's where it's hard, cuz there ain't no xray to tell if you crazy or not. I could have easily been lying the whole time. It's all complicated and the only thing I know is I'm proud of Royce for putting himself in a shitty situation to stand up for what he believes in. And if he can forward things in regards to the public's perception of mental illness that would be great. I just hope he doesn't hurt the cause.
How are things T?
the start of week5
