So zi fucked again, whats new.

plantvision

plantvision

Active Member
Got a hold of some drugs and zombifie myself..........

Freind caught me on the road, he in turn called my father in law.

Which in turn told my wife and daughter and my parents.

It has been 1 1/2 0days still have not detoxed, walking around like a zombie.

Cannot read, my daughter reluctlantly reads for me.

My wife is threating leaving.

I just have not goddam control, never one, but as many as I can handle...

Off again to see my pshycologist on Monday.

WHY DO I ROMANCE DRUGS SO DAM MUCH.

I have no idea, any input PLEASE.

Treatment doesn't seem to help, been there 3 times already.

Any help let me know, and I all readuy feel enough like shit, so keep you %$### assinine comment to your piece of shit mind.
 
BendBrewer

BendBrewer

Well-Known Member
I feel for you man. Shit is tough. What you need to remember is how you feel now. Do you Romance this part? It's always going to contain this part. Remember how much this sucks. Realize what you have to lose. When the devil knocks again, remember now.
 
T

timeismoney1

New Member
Cant control your impulse then you shouldnt do droogz. Help is advissed

Look on the bright side at least your not an alcoholic clown:)
 
racerboy71

racerboy71

bud bootlegger
you've got to first and foremost realize that drugs are a one way road to no where, and the more that you do of them, the more things that you're eventually going to lose.. cars, liscence, kids, wife, house, etc... i can't explain how much shit i lost over drugs.. some of them i got back, others, well, not so much so..
and like someone else said, you've got to think about not only how good that you feel when you do drugs, but also think about the entire thing, getting caught, the wife threatening to leave, trying to detox, the kids reading for you... you have to realized that these are also the things that come along with using.. that is if you're lucky enough to still have the kids and wife around you.. sooner or later, they will get tired of the bs, and walk, trust me on that one... and no matter what, every time you do dope, you're going to have to kick it sooner or later.. that shit sucks, why do it to yourself? that's an awful thing to go through all of the time..
life may still suck from time to time, as it's still life and shit happens, but guess what? i'm no longer getting locked up all of the time, i can look people in the eyes now, my family trusts me to be alone in their houses, i have a car and a can legally drive it.. i no longer need to worry about coming up with ten dollars for my next fix.. such a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders... but, i really wanted to get clean, that is the most important part ime..
 
Perfextionist420

Perfextionist420

Well-Known Member
Well if you don't mind indulging us and telling us what you took and what happened were curious.

I have been clean except for occasional drinks for nine months after being raided, I stopped smoking I was at over a half o a day. Stopped coke ecstasy acid shrooms. The only pieces of advice I have is that I did it on sheer willpower and top times for relapse are when your aroun people and places you associate with everything. When your as deep as you are chances are the majority of people and places you have will be in conflict with this. Your in danger of losing your family which sucks I'm in danger of going to jail, my reality came knocking with a battering ram so I have no choice, in your instance you have to pick which is more important and hopefully just tough it out.
 
Farfenugen

Farfenugen

Well-Known Member
nothing wrong with toking up now and then, but sounds to me that you've obviously taken somethign nasty, perhaps coke or some other poisonous chemical. Pot wouldn't make you feel like that.
 
racerboy71

racerboy71

bud bootlegger
Farfenugen said:
nothing wrong with toking up now and then, but sounds to me that you've obviously taken somethign nasty, perhaps coke or some other poisonous chemical. Pot wouldn't make you feel like that.
Click to expand...
i'm fairly sure plants talking about the big h here.. never a fun drug to have to dance with..
 
A

a dog named chico

Well-Known Member
I hear ya buddy, does addiction run in your family? as a child my mom was an Alcoholic and i swore i would never go down that road....flash forward to me being 21, drunk every night, driving to work shit faced in the morning, not getting caught because my boss was a bigger drunk than i was. Now i do not drink period because i know the cost...that may be what you have to do...completely eliminate that part of your life, when ever you feel the urge just remind yourself the cost of YOU having a good time....
 
plantvision

plantvision

Active Member
I am just pissed off at myself, it is like I live in a great world, I have everything I want. But when confronted with the desicision it is like I fall into a different world.

Right now both wife and daughter left, I still am under the effects, and all I can think about is taking more.

Not looking for the sympathay vote, but I wonder maybe it is best for my daughter to move on, why should she have to go through the same shit I did when I was growing up.

I can use the soft drugs and get along fine, but my body SCREAMS for more. Is death the only way out of this, not contemplating it at all, but opiates and benzos just will not let me alone.

I have been through treatment 3 times, I have my plans written down, people to call, all means jack shit when your determined to get high.

Thanks for the kind words, keep them coming maybe something will stick. Now my body is just freaking for more, more, more. No fucking will power.
 
Dislexicmidget2021

Dislexicmidget2021

Well-Known Member
Well, If u wanna lose everything in your life...take more of em just a few more a Few MORE,Is this what you love?Where is the life u enjoy man?Seek assistance do not give in!.The impulse is knocking at the door you have the power of choice always never forget.
 
tinyTURTLE

tinyTURTLE

Well-Known Member
in order to get off opiates you need to excercise regularly, opiate addiction causes the brain to stop making endorphins, the excercise will help the brain kick start it's neurotransmitter factory.
for the benzos i have no advice, benzos are the most addictive drug. i don't know if anything but abstinance will work.
 
B

boneheadbob

Well-Known Member
Bottom line is I had to want to stay sober more then I wanted to get high and I had to do it one day at a time. However it took much misery and destroyed lives before I threw away the shovel and stopped digging.

Finding a sponser was hard for me because I have always done things myself. I didnt want to admit my faults to anyone. But it was an important part of the process for me. Learning a new way to live.
 
B

boneheadbob

Well-Known Member
Dislexicmidget2021 said:
My point being is that you shouldnt give in all together otherwise u lose always,though your right u have to surrender sometimes to gain a better ability to control.
Click to expand...
I had no choice. I was not only going to die with the obsession to slowly kill myself but I had lost the will to live. My road is not for everyone. And my solution may not be for everyone. All I can do is freely share what was freely given to me.
 
MountainManGanjaGrower

MountainManGanjaGrower

Active Member
Do you want to be controlled? Or do you want to be in control? I didn't have anything as bad as you have going, mainly because I didn't have a family to leave me or a wife, but that's how I always thought about the drugs. Do I want control, or am I really going to let these things bring me to the point of addiction just to function normally? I chose no.

It's all in your mind, it may not seems like it, but you CAN do it. You have the power to do anything you want, drugs will never take that away. They will, however, create a bad reality and mindset that is not easy to overcome, and sometimes may take more than just yourself, but thats okay. You just have to take a step back and realize what you're doing and that it might not be the best choices, choices that could eventually kill you, you have to make yourself want to stop.

Like those above me said, it's all about wanting to stop instead of wanting to keep up habits, it sounds weird but it's not that hard to rewire your brain into a better thinking mode. Once you realize that you have control over the situation it's a lot easier to grasp the big picture

don't know if any of that helped, but keep on keepin on man.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top