grandpa attempted suicide

a senile fungus

a senile fungus

Well-Known Member
Has anyone ever had a family member attempt suicide in your home? If so, how did you deal with it? And did you accept that person back into your home?

My grandfather recently made an attempt on his life. I'm picking him up from the hospital today to bring him back home. Not sure how I feel about it... I miss seeing him everyday, but I also know I'll be on the constant lookout for him to do it again.

He's 90yo, mentally sharp, physically doing really well, no illness or disease other than diabetes (well managed). Recently diagnosed with depression (go figure).

I'll post more after a few responses, gotta go!
 
Indacouch

Indacouch

Well-Known Member
Damn sorry to hear that ....if you miss and enjoy seeing him and having his company I'd say it's worth it to get him the psychological help needed to combat the depression before you return him to the same environment again ......just my opinion .....it's worth him being away a lil longer getting help to return healthy ....than to bring him back and worry about the obvious constantly .....either way I wish you the best with your family member GL

I lost my grandpa young to the same thing ....get em some help
 
Alienwidow

Alienwidow

Well-Known Member
Ask him what he was trying to prove and who he expected would find his dead body? Suicide isnt just selfish, its also the rudest thing you can do to the person who finds you. That memory will haunt the person until the day they die. Theres no drug that can burn it out of memory. Also it wouldnt be a bad idea to find out what his cry for help was for, and then do something about it. If it was that bad that he wanted to end his life over it, then its probably a worthwhile project to help him with since he cant seem to tackle it by himself.
 
sunni

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
my mother several times
make sure they have bi weekly appointments with a counsellor, on proper medications

people say suicide is selfish i disagree, these people are in such terrible mental positions and physical. it has nothing to do with you, it has to do with the desperation and hurt they are in, endling your life isnt an easy decision but often they feel its the only decision when youre down that hole so far, its hard to see the light or any other option. Yes , if you lose them it hurts you, but you are most likely mentally strong enough to handle the loss of a loved one, where as they are incapable living day to day activities. Its extremely hard to describe peoples demons, and they suffer a lot
i had a boyfriend who commited suicide and anyone who knows him feels hes in a better place, did it hurt us? absolutely. but we all feel there was no amount of treatment that would allow him to be him and mentally healthy, unless of course he was a vegetable for the rest of his life . he was in so much pain.

dont feel tied to them to check in all the time, but offer your help and guidance,

you and him can opt for rehabilitation and psychiatric help in side and let him stay in a home for a bit, if his doctors feel hes able to live on his own with weekly check ups than that helps too.

ultimately you have to know you are not responsible for them and nothing of this depression has to do with you
 
Captain Keg

Captain Keg

Well-Known Member
a senile fungus said:
Has anyone ever had a family member attempt suicide in your home? If so, how did you deal with it? And did you accept that person back into your home?

My grandfather recently made an attempt on his life. I'm picking him up from the hospital today to bring him back home. Not sure how I feel about it... I miss seeing him everyday, but I also know I'll be on the constant lookout for him to do it again.

He's 90yo, mentally sharp, physically doing really well, no illness or disease other than diabetes (well managed). Recently diagnosed with depression (go figure).

I'll post more after a few responses, gotta go!
Click to expand...

I'm genuinely sorry to hear this, it's always much harder on the family than themselves.
I attempted the same when I was in my early 20's, for different reasons im sure.

He does need medical help, I know because I got that help.
I spent a few weeks in a hospital in Northern Ireland called hollywell & I have to say the staff were brilliant.

There's an underlying cause & as long as that goes untreated it could happen again, I'm not saying it will but it could.

If you find him help & when he's home take him to do things he enjoys, places he went when he was younger, play old music, etc.
Right now, it's like he's in a hole & has no other way out.
It's a horrible place to be, but it'll be fine, each day will get better.

Wish you & your grandda nothing but the best. Take care.
 
torontoke

torontoke

Well-Known Member
Alienwidow said:
Ask him what he was trying to prove and who he expected would find his dead body? Suicide isnt just selfish, its also the rudest thing you can do to the person who finds you. That memory will haunt the person until the day they die. Theres no drug that can burn it out of memory. Also it wouldnt be a bad idea to find out what his cry for help was for, and then do something about it. If it was that bad that he wanted to end his life over it, then its probably a worthwhile project to help him with since he cant seem to tackle it by himself.
Click to expand...
So the person who feels their own life is no longer worth living should continue living a unhappy existence because the person that finds them will be effected for the rest of their LIFE? And that's not selfish?
Knowing a loved one is suffering and worrying how it effects you is definitely the wrong perspective.
People need reason to keep going not ridicule or judgement.
Mental illness should never by taken lightly and if you truly love the person help give them support and a reason to keep up the fight.
For centuries samurai warriors viewed suicide as the most honourable brave thing a person could possibly do when their enemy or situation was impossible to overcome. How the times have changed.

Stay strong and supportive for your grandpa @a senile fungus
 
Wilderb

Wilderb

Well-Known Member
Have dealt with this as well. Had two close to me. One succeeded, one did not. Show your grandpa you love him. All you can do. Don't waste what little time he has left being pissed at him.
Just my .02.
Peace
WE
 
Alienwidow

Alienwidow

Well-Known Member
torontoke said:
So the person who feels their own life is no longer worth living should continue living a unhappy existence because the person that finds them will be effected for the rest of their LIFE? And that's not selfish?
Knowing a loved one is suffering and worrying how it effects you is definitely the wrong perspective.
People need reason to keep going not ridicule or judgement.
Mental illness should never by taken lightly and if you truly love the person help give them support and a reason to keep up the fight.
For centuries samurai warriors viewed suicide as the most honourable brave thing a person could possibly do when their enemy or situation was impossible to overcome. How the times have changed.

Stay strong and supportive for your grandpa @a senile fungus
Click to expand...
Uh yes, they should keep on living. People are not a disposable commodity and i dont think hes a samurai. Never did i say to ridicule the old man or judge him, only to enlighten him as to the consequences of his actions, and let him know how it could affect others that don't deserve to be put in that life changing situation.
A friend of mine found his dad hanging dead in his shop at age 14. Hes never been the same. He built a house next to the shop and still lives in it to this day, but wont go into the shop. He stopped speaking almost completely. I said nothing about how i would be affected, but i did say that the person that finds the dead person would be scared for life. Thats a fact, not an opinion. That guy walks around like a zombie to this day because of what someone did to him unintentionally.
I dont see the need to debate the right to kill oneself, nor do i think that SF was looking for a response condoning that action. Id guess he wants his grandpa around a little longer. Im also pretty sure debate isnt what this thread needs.
 
torontoke

torontoke

Well-Known Member
Alienwidow said:
Uh yes, they should keep on living. People are not a disposable commodity and i dont think hes a samurai. Never did i say to ridicule the old man or judge him, only to enlighten him as to the consequences of his actions, and let him know how it could affect others that don't deserve to be put in that life changing situation.
A friend of mine found his dad hanging dead in his shop at age 14. Hes never been the same. He built a house next to the shop and still lives in it to this day, but wont go into the shop. He stopped speaking almost completely. I said nothing about how i would be affected, but i did say that the person that finds the dead person would be scared for life. Thats a fact, not an opinion. That guy walks around like a zombie to this day because of what someone did to him unintentionally.
I dont see the need to debate the right to kill oneself, nor do i think that SF was looking for a response condoning that action. Id guess he wants his grandpa around a little longer. Im also pretty sure debate isnt what this thread needs.
Click to expand...
Your right
Touchy subject that gets me worked up. Sadly it has effected to many already.
 
curious2garden

curious2garden

Well-Known Mod
Staff member
a senile fungus said:
Has anyone ever had a family member attempt suicide in your home? If so, how did you deal with it? And did you accept that person back into your home?

My grandfather recently made an attempt on his life. I'm picking him up from the hospital today to bring him back home. Not sure how I feel about it... I miss seeing him everyday, but I also know I'll be on the constant lookout for him to do it again.

He's 90yo, mentally sharp, physically doing really well, no illness or disease other than diabetes (well managed). Recently diagnosed with depression (go figure).

I'll post more after a few responses, gotta go!
Click to expand...
Oh no I am so sorry. I have a couple suggestions. I'll pm you. Stay strong.
 
Chef420

Chef420

Well-Known Member
There are psychiatrists that specialize in geriatrics. My parents are 85 and 90 and they definitely think along different lines.
Best of luck.
 
bizarrojohnson

bizarrojohnson

Well-Known Member
Sucks to hear man I had a good friend od on herion recently. Not ruled a suicide but since he already od'ed twice and was brought back I feel like it was. He knew better and only someone who doesn't care if they live or die would do that. Suicide is one of the craziest things in this world. It's selfish but it's also selfish to call someone else's pain selfish. So much that they override their natural instinct for survival. I tried a few times when i was younger. Feeling trapped in an existence that would rather not exist in anymore. I tried and failed horribly. Didn't feel right........hopefully your granddad felt the same afterwards. Life sucks.......but it's still too beautiful to give up.
 
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