cat of curiosity
Well-Known Member
first and foremost, this is for giggles, not shits. totally not serious, other than the fact that these are current standing laws.
hate me if you want, or just read and laugh. i'm wtf'ing and lol'ing on my side, so, please enjoy!
Dumb Laws in Colorado
One may not mutilate a rock in a state park.
Full text of the law.
(understandable, The Rock has feelings too...)
Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
(because cars look better on rainy days...)
It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.
(3 what?!?!?)
No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. Repealed 2008: Colorado residents can now buy alcohol on Sundays
Full text of the law.
(ok, so, repealed...)
It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.
(dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse....)
Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.
(under penalty of federal law? sound weedy to me...)
City Laws in Colorado
Alamosa
Throwing missles at cars is illegal.
Full text of the law.
(it is? like, really?!?)
Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited.
Full text of the law.
(I'll let my teenage daughter know, she needs to find her own crib...)
To own a dog over three months of age, one must obtain a license.
Full text of the law.
(to drive them to the vet, or....?)
Persons may not urinate in public.
Full text of the law.
(ffs, why the hell not?)
Arvada
Establishments which sell alcohol must have enough lighting to read text inside them.
Full text of the law.
(helpful, you know how hard it is to read when drunk...)
Aspen
Catapults may not be fired at buildings.
Full text of the law.
(again, wtf not?)
Boulder
It is legal to challenge a police officer, but only until he or she asks you to stop.
Full text of the law.
(just shtop, yur herting my feewings....)
It is illegal to permit ones llama to graze on city property.
Full text of the law.
(llamas pay taxes too assholes)
Boulders may not be rolled on city property.
Full text of the law.
(They don't like it when we be rollin')
Couches may not be placed on outside porches.
About this law.
Full text of the law.
(but the front yard is fine)
Colorado Springs
It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
(in other words, the days it actually matters)
Cripple Creek
It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
(i wonder why?)
Denver
The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.
(hope my dog can read)
It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor
(that bastard!)
City Laws in Colorado
Denver
You may not drive a black car on Sundays.
(racist)
It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado.
(snitches don't get stitches in co)
Durango
It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes “unbecoming” on one’s sex.
(so transgender is illegal in durango?)
Fountain
It is illegal to have a broken down car on private property or public right-of-ways
Full text of the law.
(so where the fuck DO you put it?)
It is illegal to have weeds in your yard
Full text of the law.
(so pot is STILL illegal in Colorado?)
Logan County
It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
(i'd be in prison, my peaches is so beautiful when she's sleeping)
Louisville
Residents may not own chickens, but may own up to three turkeys.
Full text of the law.
(um, like congress?)
Pueblo
It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.
(just LOL)
Sterling
Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.
(how does that work, and where do you plug it in?)
Vail
It is illegal to crash into obstacles on a ski slope.
Full text of the law.
(yeah, it ought to be, fuckin' trees...)
No one may keep junk close to someone else.
Full text of the law.
(so you can have sex with your wife, you just need separate bedrooms?)
Westminster
Do not allow somebody to park less than 2 feet from you, or you will have to pay a fine.
Full text of the law.
(just run me over, don't want a fine...)
Don’t get lost between 9pm-4am, or allow somebody else to get lost while ‘operating’ your car because it is against the law
Full text of the law.
(where are we? oh fuck, that's right... JAIL!)
Do not send a work crew in more than 1 vehicle in any residential district of the city because it is against the law
Full text of the law.
(is this a hispanic reference? fucking racists....)
hate me if you want, or just read and laugh. i'm wtf'ing and lol'ing on my side, so, please enjoy!
Dumb Laws in Colorado
One may not mutilate a rock in a state park.
Full text of the law.
(understandable, The Rock has feelings too...)
Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
(because cars look better on rainy days...)
It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.
(3 what?!?!?)
No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. Repealed 2008: Colorado residents can now buy alcohol on Sundays
Full text of the law.
(ok, so, repealed...)
It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.
(dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse....)
Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.
(under penalty of federal law? sound weedy to me...)
City Laws in Colorado
Alamosa
Throwing missles at cars is illegal.
Full text of the law.
(it is? like, really?!?)
Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited.
Full text of the law.
(I'll let my teenage daughter know, she needs to find her own crib...)
To own a dog over three months of age, one must obtain a license.
Full text of the law.
(to drive them to the vet, or....?)
Persons may not urinate in public.
Full text of the law.
(ffs, why the hell not?)
Arvada
Establishments which sell alcohol must have enough lighting to read text inside them.
Full text of the law.
(helpful, you know how hard it is to read when drunk...)
Aspen
Catapults may not be fired at buildings.
Full text of the law.
(again, wtf not?)
Boulder
It is legal to challenge a police officer, but only until he or she asks you to stop.
Full text of the law.
(just shtop, yur herting my feewings....)
It is illegal to permit ones llama to graze on city property.
Full text of the law.
(llamas pay taxes too assholes)
Boulders may not be rolled on city property.
Full text of the law.
(They don't like it when we be rollin')
Couches may not be placed on outside porches.
About this law.
Full text of the law.
(but the front yard is fine)
Colorado Springs
It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
(in other words, the days it actually matters)
Cripple Creek
It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
(i wonder why?)
Denver
The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.
(hope my dog can read)
It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor
(that bastard!)
City Laws in Colorado
Denver
You may not drive a black car on Sundays.
(racist)
It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado.
(snitches don't get stitches in co)
Durango
It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes “unbecoming” on one’s sex.
(so transgender is illegal in durango?)
Fountain
It is illegal to have a broken down car on private property or public right-of-ways
Full text of the law.
(so where the fuck DO you put it?)
It is illegal to have weeds in your yard
Full text of the law.
(so pot is STILL illegal in Colorado?)
Logan County
It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
(i'd be in prison, my peaches is so beautiful when she's sleeping)
Louisville
Residents may not own chickens, but may own up to three turkeys.
Full text of the law.
(um, like congress?)
Pueblo
It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.
(just LOL)
Sterling
Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.
(how does that work, and where do you plug it in?)
Vail
It is illegal to crash into obstacles on a ski slope.
Full text of the law.
(yeah, it ought to be, fuckin' trees...)
No one may keep junk close to someone else.
Full text of the law.
(so you can have sex with your wife, you just need separate bedrooms?)
Westminster
Do not allow somebody to park less than 2 feet from you, or you will have to pay a fine.
Full text of the law.
(just run me over, don't want a fine...)
Don’t get lost between 9pm-4am, or allow somebody else to get lost while ‘operating’ your car because it is against the law
Full text of the law.
(where are we? oh fuck, that's right... JAIL!)
Do not send a work crew in more than 1 vehicle in any residential district of the city because it is against the law
Full text of the law.
(is this a hispanic reference? fucking racists....)
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