Good catch Cof.
I must have made you all watch this video before,
and if not, then you should watch it:
Businessman 1 (Donald Hoath): I see the police have made another lightning raid... Paddington drug orgy.
Priest (Gordon Gostelow): I suppose young girls was involved?
Businessman 1: (reading the newspaper) One discovered naked in the kitchen...breasts smeared with peanut butter. The police took away a bag containing 15 grams of cannabis resin... it may also contain a quantity of heroin.
Bagley: Or a pork pie.
Businessman 1: I beg your pardon.
Bagley: I said the bag may also have contained a pork pie.
Businessman 1: I hardly see a pork pie's got anything to do with it.
Bagley: Alright then, what about a large turnip. It might also have contained a big turnip.
Priest: The bag was full of drugs.
Bagley: Nonsense.
Priest: The bag was full of drugs, it says so.
Bagley: The bag could've been full of anything. Pork pies, turnips, oven parts... it's the oldest trick in the book.
Priest: What book?
Bagley: The distortion of truth by association book. The word is "may." You all believe heroin was in the bag because cannabis resin was in the bag. The bag may have contained heroin, but the chances are 100 to 1 certain that it didn't.
Businessman 1: A lot more likely than what you say.
Bagley: About as likely as the tits spread with peanut butter.
Businessman 2 (John Levitt): Do you mind?
Priest: The tits WERE spread with peanut butter!
Bagley: Nonsense.
Priest: It says so! Who's the man you are to think you know more about it than the press?
Bagley: I'm an expert on tits. Tits and peanut butter. I'm also an expert drug pusher... I've been pushing drugs for 20 years...
Businessman 2: Look here, I've had enough of this.
Bagley: ...And I can tell you a pusher protects his pitch. We want to sell them cigarettes, and don't like competition, see? So we associate a relatively innocuous drug with one that is extremely dangerous, and the rags go along with it because they adore the dough from the ads.
Businessman 2: I've had enough of this, I'm getting off at Datchet.
Bagley: Getting off at Datchet won't help you, getting off anywhere won't help you! I've had an octopus squatting on my brain for a fortnight, and I suddenly see that I am the only one that can help you. It'd be pointless to go into the reasons why, but I've been worried sick about boils for a fortnight. Large boils, small boils, fast eruptors... they incurable, all of them! I know that, and so does everybody else, until they get one, then the rules suddenly change. With a boil on the nose there's a sudden overnight surge in faith. They want to believe something will work. He knows that which is why he gets a good look in with the dying. Sells 'em hope you see? But these boys would be forced down into real estate if anyone came up with a genuine cure for death.
Priest: Good God, this is a madman!
Bagley: What do you know about God you wire-haired mick? Here have 'em!
(throws cigarettes) I've given up!
(The (train leaves the platform with Bagley, leaving the other three men on the platform)
This is important stuff!
Jig: I was stoked the hear that Hemlock is dealing as
well as might be expected. He is in our thoughts.
JD
Funny shit. Contains strippers, cocaine, and guns.
