the most fucked up shit you found on accident

Unclebaldrick

Unclebaldrick

Well-Known Member
I was moving a guy in Alexandria. Some CEO or some shit moving from floor 15 to the penthouse. My instructions: leave the drawer under the clock radio in the master bedroom alone.

I dunno what would have happened if there were only one clock radio, but there were three. Three dressers, three clock radios. Who the fuck doesn't know how many clock radios they have?

We saved the bedroom for last. But the living room had every Tracy Lordes video ever made, so our interest was piqued.

So, of course, we opened all three. Then I went to talk to Nicki, the interior decorator that hired us.

Me: hey Nicki, there are three clock radios in here.
Nicki: oh. Ok, I'll check it out.

Nicki proceeds to open the first drawer - actually, it was really cool as she opened them in the same order as I did - the optimal order. So the first drawer has a .44 magnum Dirty Harry gun in it.

Nicki: This is the drawer. Leave this one alone.
Me: ok, cool. Uh, maybe you want to check the others.
Nicki: yeah, I probably should.

Nicki opens the second drawer. It is full of sex toys. Like you just bought one of everything at the Hustler store. So full, you can hardly close the drawer.

Nicki: uh. Oh, shit. Leave this one alone too.
Me: (laughing) ok

Nicki moves to the third drawer and opens it more carefully. It is nearly full of polaroids of this guy with every hooker in the DC area. Really embarrassing shit. Like this guy, a CEO of a publicly traded company wearing a "Eyes Wide Open" mask and a lime green elephant g-string with two horrible hooker skanks - one on each side. I dont even know who was taking the picture. But there were thousands of them.

Now at this point, my helper and I split into laughing. I mean falling down laughing. Nicki did to. Finally she says " just leave them all alone". We pulled ourselves together and finished the job. It paid really well and the NDA was up seven years ago.

Lol
 
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panhead

panhead

Well-Known Member
I put the creep on a mother fuker that ripped me off when i was a kid , went in thru a window & snuck up on him while he was sleepin sound , i saw a fuk book on his floor along with a butt plug .

I cracked him on his mellon with a lil cedar point baseball bat & stuffed his butt plug in his mouth before creeping past his grandpa & back out the window .
 
tytheguy111

tytheguy111

Well-Known Member
panhead said:
I put the creep on a mother fuker that ripped me off when i was a kid , went in thru a window & snuck up on him while he was sleepin sound , i saw a fuk book on his floor along with a butt plug .

I cracked him on his mellon with a lil cedar point baseball bat & stuffed his butt plug in his mouth before creeping past his grandpa & back out the window .
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lol i remember that

u still shoulda put it in the lucky charms or the coffee pot lmao
 
iconoclast

iconoclast

Well-Known Member
vro said:
thats not the worst thing shes done, and i have walked in on them having sex a few times so it wasnt that much of a shock
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Oh shit, that sucks. I know how it feels, I walked in on your parents having sex before and it wasn't pretty.
 
M

mainliner

Well-Known Member
iv been doing some reading on you recently critty, and you seem to be a little bit of a prick my son , you know why .....ill say no more
 
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