best weed stories

OK guys. I am going to be writing a paper about my growing experience in Colorado. I am looking for some of your funny and interesting stories to include. I have been highly entertained over the years by various threads so I thought it would be fun to have them all in one place. Keep it clean and please don't start pissing all over everyone. It gets very tiring reading threads that start great and deteriorate after a page or two of good info

Smoking or growing?

Ive got a smoking one.


Oh Cannabis Day

First time caught with marijuana.

So it was Canada day in 2005 about 11pm. I was in my home town hanging out with my buddies, Jake and Jimmy. We decided to smoke some weed and go and listen to a guy with a multiple personality disorder (he tends to yell at his other personalities). This seemed like a very good idea, until we got there. The place was dark and no one was home, so we went back to my buddy's car. We hot boxed the car and finished up, put all the weed away into my WD-40 Stash can, or so i thought.

[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]We pulled out of a trailer court and onto a main street, just then the cops go by in the opposite direction. So we make a game plan. The game plan as i understand it was to park on a side street and [/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]disperse[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif] in different directions, however the real game plan was to run into another buddies house that we parked by. [/FONT]

So we end up parking and i go to run across the street, i look over to the intersection where the cops are coming and i can see the headlights on the street. So i stop running before they even get around the corner. The pull up with lights flashing, and out gets Officer E, a real hard ass, reminds me of officer farva from Super Troopers.

Officer E, "So Mr. Tomb where are we running to?" (everyone knows everyone in this small town)

[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Me, "Im not running anywhere." (clearly i was, but i [/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]wasn't[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif] running when they caught me)[/FONT]

Officer E, "Well, because you were fleeing, i have the right to search you now."

Me, "I dont care," (as i thought i had put everything in the stash can) I reach into my pockets, and i feel something in my left pocket, "Shitttt". I empty my right pocket, containing chocolate bars purchased from 7-Eleven.

Officer E, "Now the other pocket."

[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]I [/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]proceed[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif] to empty the pocket containing a ziplock bag with nothing but crumbs.[/FONT]

Officer E, "What is this?" (Now if anyone knows me i am a COCK, and i get COCKY to stupid cops)

Me, "Weed."

[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Officer E, "Weed? well now I have the right to arrest you, and search the car. [/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]I've[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif] been trying to catch your brother Tommy for a long time for this." (Obviously Biased in his arrest)[/FONT]

Now as this is all happening Jake is getting spoke with by Officer Phil. As it turns out Jake's license and registration on his car is expired. We both get put in the back of the cop car. Both cops go and search the car. They continue to search and even find the stash can, thinking it is a WD-40 Container, so they just leave it, nothing found. While in the cop car me and Jake start talking.

Me, "Man i am so ripped, this is actually pretty fun."
Jake, "Speak for yourself, i got a huge ticket"

[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Officer E gets into the car and [/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]proceeds[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif] to question me, "So how much weed did you have?"[/FONT]

Me, "An 1/8th"

Officer E, "How much is that?"

Me, "3.5 grams."

Officer E, "You sound like you know a lot about this"

Me, "Its not rocket science, its 1/8th of an oz, and no its my first time"

Officer E, "First time getting caught or first time smoking weed"

Me, "Both."

Officer E[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif], "So you thought to yourself, Oh Canubus Day, smoke a little [/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]marijuana[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]."[/FONT]

Me, "Officer E, have a little respect, its Canada Day."

Officer E, "So where did you get it from?"

(Now i was always told if you get caught and they want to know the dealers name you say this)
Me, "I bought it from an Indian wearing a red cap on the corner."

Officer E, "So a Native on a corner just came up to you and asked you if you wanna buy some weed to celebrate Canada Day?"

Me, " No an INDIAN wearing a RED hat on the corner came up to me and asked me to buy weed."

Officer E, "So an Native wearing a Red hat offered you weed"

Me, " No an INDIAN wearing a RED hat on the corner came up to me and asked me to buy weed."

Officer E, "Ok so an indian wearing a red hat sold you the weed"

Officer Phil at this point gets into the car.

Officer Phil, "So Dr.Tomb where did you get the weed from?"

Officer E, "I got this, he's told me an Indian wearing a red hat that was on a corner sold him the weed."

Wow, he just said it, lol, that made my Canada Day!

Officer E getting a little mad with my cockyness at this point,"So you expect me to believe that an indian wearing a red cap came up to you and asked you to buy weed."

Me, "While Officer E[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif], i dont expect you to believe anything, but that is what [/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]happened[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]"[/FONT]

Officer Phil, playing the good cop route, "Preston, you know we are just trying to help you out."

[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Me, "While i [/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]don't[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif] care."[/FONT]

Officer E, "While maybe you will care if you have to go to court and your parents and everyone in SmallTown will know you smoke weed"

Me, "I dont car about anyone in SmallTown, and my parents know i smoke weed."

Officer E, "Fine then, ill write you up a ticket." Starts writing the ticket and tells Jimmy, who is nothing but be stoned that he can go home.

Me, "Jimmy, you may as well take my chocolate bars..."

Phil, "Well you can take those with you"

Me obviously stoned, "Jimmy you leave my chocolate bars alone, i've got cops here and i will charge you with theft if you take them."

So they finish writing up my ticket and Jake's tickets and let Jake out. Officer E opens my door and sticks out the ticket to me, then takes his other hand and rips it in half. "The best part about this, is the next time i catch you, you will have alot more weed on you, and I wont be giving you a ticket, ill be throwing your ass in jail."

Me, "Whatever."

Fin.

Thanks Dr Tomb. You were pretty lucky on that one. Since I started the thread I will tell a good story. I call it "911" which will soon be clear. So I have made BHO once before. I am quite aware of the volatility of the butane and I have everything set up like a good girl outside. I have some water on the gas stove inside getting ready for the bath to remove the butane. All is going well with the first round of extraction. But I forgot something to loosen the shake so I decide to take the tube inside where I can get a poker inside the tube. Unfortunately the trash can is directly next to the OPEN FLAME of the gas stove. As I am sticking the poker into the tube, the vapors must have reached the tube and immediately burst into flames. Flames are rocketing out of the little hole where the butane is inserted. I am freaking out. I drop the tube onto the counter. Then the coffee filter attached to the open endof the tube pops off and erupts. The fireworks start. The flames are travelling with mind boggling speed all over the counter and onto my wood floor and my beautiful $1,000 kitchen rug. I throw the tube into the sink as I say to myself " I am going to burn down my bloody house down for a little BHO and this really sucks". My wood floor and rug have flames bursting everywhere and spreading with lightening speed. I roll up the rug and throw it outside and then go back inside to assess whether or not to call 911. It was not a pretty moment. I live in a gated community and I am envisioning the fire trucks getting permission to enter the subdivision to save my house. And then I am wondering whether or not I will have to fight the insurance company because of how the fire started, even though I am doing nothing illegal. Perhaps stupidity should be illegal. I figure that the rug is toast and the kitchen floors are scorched and I must decide quickly whether or not to call 911. When I run back into the house, the flames on my wood floors have abated considerably and I quickly take a dish towel and put the rest out of the flames. The fire in the sink and counter have calmed down as well and I tamp out the remaining flames. It appears that butane is SO volatile that it flashed off very quickly. The entire incident couldn't have taken more that 2 minutes. After a moment OR TWO of berating myself for being the village idiot for doing EXACTLY what I have read multiple times never to do. My mind is still racing. And then it is time to assess the damage. I look at my wood floors. Not a scorch mark on it. I then collect my once beautiful rug from outside and open it up. Not a scorch mark on that either. I am in disbelief. I take a moment to thank the pot gods for looking over me. And then of course I finish my 3.5 grams of beautiful honey oil. I almost burned down my house for under $100 bucks. HMMMM. I am one LUCKY LADY with a good story to tell. And 1/2 a case of butane still sitting in my garage. Cheers All

Many years ago, the guys were going to Marthas Vineyard for the striped bass fishing tournament, these guys are drinkers,(I am a stoner). Stopped at yankee spirits to purchase alcohol (lot of it), and continued on to catch the ferry, drinking the whole 2 1/2 hour trip, (I had 1 Jack Daniels cocktail and 1 beer only), These guys were ripped B4 by the time we got to ferry and my Brother in law driving was really lit. Well we get to the island and drive around (it's dark) and get stopped by Mr. police. My B-I-L is a talker and he had this cop laughing his ass off for about 40 minutes. Then the officer walks up to the car and opens the passenger side door (beer can falls to ground in front of him) and proceeds to ask " is there anyone in this car that hasn't been drinking tonight ? ... silence, so I strapped my larger balls on and with a whole OZ in my jacket said from the back seat " I've only had 1 beer sir " His response was why aren't you driving, get these guys home and keep em there. We then found the house we were renting, stepped in the door, threw the suitcases on the floor and went back out to get more gassed. I told them later about the OZ.